How To Use Psychology To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Again Post Breakup

I’m assuming you have landed on this article because someone has broken up with you…and you want to know how to make them fall in love with you again.

The good news is that it is definitely possible to make someone love you again after a breakup… BUT you need to understand an important point about the psychology of love. Most people don’t realize that in order to make someone fall in love with you, that your plan of action must involve a two step approach:

  1. Implement Positive Motivation: You need to actively motivate the person into wanting to go out with you. This involves trying to attract the person to you. At a very simple level it involves things like looking your best for the person …and having enjoyable conversation with them etc. At the more complex level (and the more effective level) it involves analyzing the components that make up the subliminal guide your ex has in their mind of their ideal future partner (psychologists call this a persons Lovemap) and then matching it. I’ll talk about this more, shortly.
  2. Remove Negative Motivation: You need to make sure you remove any negative motivation the person may have to wanting to fall in love with you again and beginning a relationship with you again. This involves a number of different items which I am going to cover in this article.

Any attempt to try and make someone fall in love with you without taking into account BOTH steps above …has a much higher chance of failure.

What do I need to do?

First, you need to understand there are huge differences in the way all our minds have been formed. Your past experiences are different from my past experiences. Your family background is different from my family background. Your beliefs are different from my beliefs. And your personality is different from my personality.

All these different things shape the way our subconscious mind decides who it will and won’t fall in love with. For example, if you have a particular belief or value which is important to you (such as you believe in being straight with people), your subconscious will attract you to people who are also like that …and repel you from people who aren’t like this (such as someone who plays mind games etc).

All this takes place at the subconscious level. You can only fall in love with a person who matches a number of the components (or all the components) that make up your Lovemap. The more components a person matches, the stronger the subconscious attraction will be …and the more likely you are to fall in love with them.

How To Use This To Make Someone Love You Again

The good news is that if someone loved you once, it means you matched enough of their Lovemap components to make them fall in love with you. This is a massive plus in trying to get someone to love you again.

Something must have happened in the time since you first started dating this person …to the time they broke up with you and no longer found themselves in love with you. This is where the negative motivation above comes in. Something has negatively caused your ex to no longer be attracted to you and so broke up with you.

Lets take an example to illustrate this point…

Lets say a component on your exs Lovemap is they really want children in the future. This means they would be attracted to potential partners who also like children. Lets say at the beginning of your relationship with your ex, you displayed to them that you liked children …but over the course of time you changed and said you were no longer bothered about having children in your future and were more interested in your career and making money.

This could cause your ex to subconsciously no longer see you as a match to their Lovemap and they would slowly begin losing attraction for you. After a while, they would then break up with you. However, because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings (by saying you would not make a good future parent) they just broke up with you and gave you a fake breakup reason such as “We just drifted apart” etc.

You Need To Get Rid Of The Negative Motivation

If you were to try and make your ex fall in love with you again by using solely positive motivation such as:

  • Working on your looks
  • Getting a better paid job
  • Getting an interesting hobby

…all these things would do is make you more attractive (which, of course, is a good thing) but your ex would still be left with the problem that you would not make a good parent. And so their subconscious would continue to block them from being able to fall in love with you again.

The negative motivation would remain.

Right now what you really need to do is study how you first got together with your ex, the things your ex liked in you, the things they seemed most interested in, the things in you they talked the most about etc …and derive from these what the components of your exs Lovemap are. You then need to find out how you stopped matching these components on their Lovemap so that you can begin working on ways to rematch them.

Instead of trying to be attractive in general to your ex right now (which is what all those “get your ex back” guides you’ll find on the internet teach you to do), you need to be surgical and go to the root cause of what caused your ex to no longer feel love for you and specifically fix this problem (or problems).

You need to find out what the negative motivation is that caused your ex to dump you, and then remove it. Because your ex was once in love with you, the removal of this negative motivation will make it significantly easier to make them fall in love with you again.

How can I do this?

In my book “THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology” I reveal how to uncover the components that make up someones Lovemap and then how to match these components using a set of simple psychological techniques.

After reading this book, you will no longer look at your ex the same way again but will be able to see the exact things that subconsciously make them fall in love (and how to match these things) and see the things which block them from falling in love (and how to make sure you are not matching these things).

Even if there are components on your exs Lovemap which you feel you can not satisfy, I show ways around even the most difficult of components. This can be done when you understand the psychology behind how love works. As a result, you will be able to make someone fall in love with you again regardless of your looks, your personality or the current opinion your ex holds of you.

So if you want to know how to make him fall in love again (or her fall in love again), just know that it can be done …but it needs a two step approach. Anything less, and you will be depending on luck to get them back in your arms. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

John Alex Clark is a Relationship & Life Coach. He is the founder of the website Relationship Psychology.

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