Jessica Winters

When you accidentally open your front camera.

“It’s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side. My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.”

“Janae, would you be my chick to prom?”

“A good place to put inspirational quotes is up your ass.”

When he’s ugly but he’s in a band so you give him a chance…

My reaction to almost everything.

“Is that guy texting you still? Can I see a picture of him?…”

“I love you. I’m dumb. Sorry I stabbed you.”

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”

“Her moans were like music to my ears.”

“Better to be the one who smiled than the one who didn’t smile back.”

It starts out as just a simple movie on Netflix. You’re excited to spend time with that special someone….

“He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man.”

“When somebody calls you a bitch but they ain’t wrong…”

“People keep saying I have commitment issues but wine and I have been going steady for years.”

“Me when I’m trying to get my life together but Satan has other plans for me.”

“Well, now that I have eaten this entire bag of chips I am about to go snuggle with my phone.”

“Relationships take two, so make sure your partner knows how to count.”