Jessica Winters

“If he’s dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.”

“Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML”

The most hilarious posts from one of the funniest Instagram accounts out there.

“you were my cup of tea, i drink coffee now”

“Being rich is not a crime, but being poor is.”

“I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple.”

“You can be the king, but watch the queen conquer.” —Nicki Minaj

Kari Ferrell gained brief fame in 2009 when the press christened her the “Hipster Grifter” for her tendency to befriend young skinny bearded males in Williamsburg and take them for every penny they had.

“Some men can’t be bothered to take a single shower and just spray deodorant all over themselves, thinking that it’ll cover the smell, when it actually doesn’t. Take a damn shower.”

“His breath was so rank—I’m talking demons dancing on his tongue rank.”

“I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!”

“He was wearing an adult diaper and liked to be spanked.”

A dozen of the most elaborate, enduring, and heartwarming expressions of true love in world history.

“I ended up in the hospital after my hair caught fire.”

“It was as if I were being pushed into a tunnel of stars.”

“Why do you guys have to constantly touch your junk???”

“Telling me to smile. Don’t tell me to smile. I don’t know you.”

“We got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of her vagina.”