Jessica Winters

Born to be different: Gemini, Capricorn, Cancer, Sagittarius

I like my bed more than I like most people.

“When you’re with them, time seems to stop.”

Forget all the other horoscopes—this is the only one that’s proved to be 100% scientifically accurate!

I don’t think of you as a coworker because you never do any work.

don’t let the stars around you
drown out the stars inside you

“We should take it slowly, except for the sex part.”

“They’re never the source of all the ‘drama’ in their life.”

“You remind me of sunshine. I’d almost forgotten what that was like.”

There are good things inside you.

When I think of life without my dog, I think back to the lyrics of an old country song: Imagine a world where no music was playing

“Anyone can be a millionaire, but to become a billionaire you need an astrologer.” —J. P. Morgan

When your squad doesn’t show but it’s OK because more pizza for you.

Thanks for telling me about the 5% of your weekend I didn’t already see on social media.

The best, worst, sweetest, and scariest things about each sign.

“The realest people don’t have a lot of friends.” —Tupac

ENFPs are the most cuddly, while INTPs are the least.

“Mommy always leaves me and daddy home on Saturday nights, and me and daddy always go and get ice cream in the car after dinner…”