I cannot tell you how to make someone genuinely love you. I cannot fake feelings, I cannot create passion.

Yet, I can tell you how to manipulate feelings.

Jealousy is one of the strongest feelings of all. I am not necessarily telling you to automatically date someone else (although a rebound is usually my answer).

The best way to make him regret leaving you is by acting like it was the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

You almost have to act relieved like he is doing you a favor by breaking up with you. You need to become better, and it needs to be apparent to everyone. Start simple by going to the gym as much as possible. Get a trainer if you can. The revenge body is a real thing, and it is effective. Become hotter than you were when you with him. Next, try to go on a vacation, you can release some of your anger and your new body in a bikini. Do not forget to take lots of photos and look happy.

Make it known you look better, and you are happier now.

If you were close to his friends, stay close to them. Remember what they say: “Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.” Do not talk about him to his friends. Act like you have forgotten about him because you are so busy. Also start distancing yourself from his group, especially if this is fresh. This is a battle, and you do not want to go in like a basket case. Only have face to face contact with people in your shared social group when you are strong enough to do so. Keep in limited contact, through text only just so they are in the loop, but they have no idea how broken you are.

While you are taking a break from your shared social group, you must use this time to better yourself as much as possible. Try to get a promotion or a new job, anything that can impress them.

A new body is not enough, you need to have it all.

You need to look like everything in your life is falling into place perfectly and this is all happening without him.

Do you have a dream? Do you want to go to law school someday? Do you want to write a book? Do you want to be on a cover of a magazine? Start making that happen. He will be so immensely jealous and proud of you for starting to make your dreams a reality. Change is scary, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

Now it is time to start being petty. Take all the selfies, go on random dates to make yourself feel better, make it known you have male attention. If you really want to be manipulative (and obviously you do…because you are reading this) start posting little snippets of you with another guy. It can be mysterious—just like a male hand at dinner, nothing too over the top. The key is to look natural not staged. Not over the top happy, just in the moment living my new single great sex and the city life without you. Get dressed up and go out with your girlfriends, go somewhere expensive where he knows he could never take you, make him feel inadequate.

When you are confident enough that you look better, you are smarter, and you seem like you are having more fun, that is when you come back.

This is where the real fun starts. I know in the beginning, in the heat of the moment, in your darkest hour, you wanted to message him telling him how you felt. You wanted to show up out of the blue uninvited, but trust me that is not the right move. I know the mature thing is to be honest with your feelings, but being mature and winning is not the same thing. You can still be honest with him about how you feel after he begs for you back, but never before.

Closure is not worth your dignity right now.

Now that you have showcased how much better you are doing, and you are still connected in his social circle, this is the time to make him regret leaving you.

If you can “run into him” or be at the same event as him, he will be wondering about you even if he doesn’t say it. When men are done with a relationship, they want to feel like they have destroyed you. It is their worst nightmare to find out you were always so much better off without him. The tables have turned. While he made you feel not good enough, he is now the one not good enough for you. Without him, you had the chance to reach your full potential. He realizes he was the one who was holding you back.

He will probably try and chase you because men always want what they can’t have.

As the great LC said,

“As soon as you stop thinking about them, they’ll send you a text, message or they’ll call you, because they know you just stopped thinking about them, it’s just like a radar.”

Now, this is the moment of truth. He wants you back, and this is where I leave you. If you want to work it out, now is the time to speak up when he is begging for you back, but does not have you back yet. This is your window. This is your moment to say everything you never said. Maybe you will want him back now and maybe you won’t (think Elle Woods rejecting Warner). If you want a faster route to him wanting you back, you can always start seeing someone in his circle (think when Nate thought Blair was seeing Carter Baizen) but that is messier and usually just ends in fistfights at the Debutante Ball. Trust me that love triangles are more messy than romantic.

That’s my last piece of manipulative advice. The rest is up to you.