January Nelson

Kids and dogs can go to pubs, cashiers at grocery stores get to sit down, roundabouts everywhere.

She fed my hamster to our cat because I wouldn’t let her name it.

GEMINI: You like pictures of him and his new girlfriend in order to create the illusion you couldn’t care less about him moving on. 

What do you do if you’re getting attacked by a flock of clowns? Go for the juggler.

Cancer: She’s going to start doubting herself and wondering whether she did something wrong, something to make you lose interest in her. 

Is this going to be your month?

It taught you to focus on the steps you’re taking now instead of the road in front of you.

A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”

See cars driving very slow and very odd in the middle of the night. Like at store parking lots, churches, closed parks. Think they might be casing or whatever its odd enough for a casual contact. Fucking Pokemon Go every time.

ARIES: He’s the ex who hits you up whenever he’s drunk, lonely, or high.

Is the film worth seeing?

Are you good at getting turned down?

I popped a few allergy pills throughout the week, which helped my running nose, but it didn’t do much for my unsettled stomach. Maybe I was going to get my period early, but it didn’t feel like the same sensation. This felt heavy, like something was weighing down my insides. 

What is his top priority?

Your bro’s sisters, exes, aunts, and mother are all off limits. Period.

My Uber was new to the area and attempted to drive down a rail road track.

It’s because your relationship with God is weak.

How is this summer treating you?