January Nelson

VIRGO: They don’t have time for emotionally exhausting people who drain them.

Would you believe that a rooster, a duck, and a sheep were the first passengers to ever ride a hot air balloon? It’s true!

LIBRA: No one has reminded you of your beauty lately, and you often rely on other people to bring you happiness.

In the world of social media, dating apps, and lots of mixed signals, it can be hard to tell when or if someone likes you.

Did you know that the chicken is the closest living relative to the T-Rex? How wild!

ARIES: You’ve created a fake persona where you don’t care about anything or anyone. 

Some of us are mourning the loss of loved ones, others are mourning the loss of life as we once knew it.

We will tell them about being alone.

GEMINI: You’re trying to become more disciplined and stop procrastinating. 

When my husband and I meet people, strangers will ask him what he does for a living and ask me what my hobbies are or if we have kids.

Stop asking for blowjobs.

LEO: You’re getting plenty of time to think — about who you care about, about what your priorities are, about where you should be headed next. 

Think you know everything about your favorite artists? Well, think again! We have compiled the best list of music trivia questions and can’t wait to test your knowledge.

PISCES: They have a big mouth. They will tell their friends what you’ve done. It will get around.

She thought I killed her horse (it wasn’t actually her horse) with voodoo because I was jealous (it was a horse.)

TAURUS: You start spending more time with your friends because you don’t want to be alone.

My mother’s husband coming at me with a machete trying to kill me. I stumbled and fell, it’s not a silly horror movie trope, it happens. I still hear the sound of it hitting the floor inches away from my feet as I scrambled backwards. Did you know that machetes make sparks when they hit hard surfaces?

CAPRICORN: You need to practice empathy.