Jacob Geers

What was the axeman’s beef with Italian grocers??

Read these before bed. I dare you.

Delphine LaLaurie apparently punished her slaves by whipping. She apparently whipped one of her slaves so brutally, she fell off a roof trying to escape her master’s beatings.

“They all kept complaining about the lady crying in the bloody dress by the fireplace. That stuck me as odd, I have been on the ride and walked though the ride countless times. Never did I see said women. I brushed it off.”

That is to say, the more we lie, the less guilty we feel about doing it.

Sometimes when creepy things happen, there’s evidence left behind…

This probably won’t end well.

He didn’t really have good style.

We are all screwed bigly.

We should want her to get better. We shouldn’t want her to flip the table. And that’s why Koul’s article is so messed up, because she’s happy to see the table capsize — no matter what costs to Bregoli follow.

“They kept talking about whether or not they should kill me or let me go. I convinced them to drop me off as long as I promised not to say anything to the cops.”

“It just made me realize that us being separated was healthier for both of us.”

“Girl adds me on Snapchat, knows my life story, secrets I’ve never even whispered, and acts like she knows me.”

“Long intro, short conclusion, strong hypothesis, but nothing to back it up. Details are important. If you want to be believed, back it up with proof.”

However awful your roommate horror story is, it probably isn’t as bad as the one Twitter user @chaserojo has for the world.

At around 2am, after around 47 minutes on the phone, Brandon yelled “OH SHIT” and the phone hung up. That was the last anyone ever heard from him.

He urged for anyone considering suicide to get the help they need while telling his very personal, extremely heartbreaking story.

They call themselves “the unofficial resistance team inside the White House.”