At first glance, toxic humans seem charming. They seem polite. They seem perfectly harmless.
The problem is, even after you sense their true colors, after you get exposed to their worst sides, after you realize what they’re capable of doing to you, no one else’s opinion of them has changed. You’re the only enlightened one. You’re the only one who was there to witness the way they behaved. You’re the only one who has evidence they aren’t as sweet as they claim.
Toxic humans are dangerous, not just because of the way they treat you, but because of the way they treat others.
There’s a strong contrast between the way they act with you and the way they act with everyone else. In private, they’ll say the meanest things. They’ll pick apart your worst flaws. They’ll break your heart in half.
But in public, they’ll put on another persona. They’ll smile. Laugh. Tell jokes. Lay on the charm. They’ll play the part of the perfect partner. They’ll make it seem like you’re lucky to have them.
Whether they consciously realize it or not, their goal is to make you seem like the crazy one.
They will disregard your feelings and act like you’re blowing things out of proportion whenever you get mad at them — but they’ll do more than make you feel crazy in private. They’ll make you look crazy to everyone else. They’ll twist stories when they recount events to their friends and families. They’ll make it look like they’re the good guy. Like they’re getting hurt by you. Like they’re the victim in the situation.
The scariest part is, sometimes they actually believe their own lies. Sometimes they see their life with such a warped point of view that they cannot possibly picture being in the wrong. They cannot fathom the thought that they might not be the greatest person.
Toxic humans are skilled with changing the narrative, making you look like the crazy one. They’ll try to turn everyone against you. They’ll try to make everyone pick their side over yours. And the worst part is, some people will buy into their act. They’ll believe every word. They’ll start to look at you differently.
People who you trust, who you always thought had your best interest at heart, will act like you’re ungrateful if you consider leaving. They’ll act like you’re lucky to have this person, simply because they’ve only seen the best sides of this person.
That’s why, when you’re trapped with someone toxic, you need to start acting selfish. You need to stop caring what everybody else thinks. You need to worry about yourself. Worry about your own happiness, your own sanity, your own escape.
It’s not going to be easy. You might get guilt tripped when you decide to leave. Not only by your partner, but by family and friends. But no matter how they feel about your situation, you know the truth. You know you deserve better. You know you’re much safer alone than with someone who twists truths, manipulates feelings, and crafts false narratives.