Stop replaying memories of him in your head. Stop thinking about all of the good times you had together. Stop playing music that makes you think of the time you shared your first kiss or took a spontaneous road trip. Stop torturing yourself with thoughts of him.
The more you’re thinking about him, the more you’re hurting yourself, the more you’re cracking your heart.
That doesn’t mean you should pretend the relationship never happened. It’s just as dangerous to pretend you’re perfectly fine without him as it would be to dwell in your misery for months on end. But like everything in life, moderation is key.
You don’t want to pretend your past never happened, pretend your ex never existed, pretend your heartache isn’t real — but you don’t want to spend every waking moment thinking about him either. You don’t want to obsess over someone who is out of your world.
You aren’t going to be able to stop yourself from thinking about him when you see something that randomly reminds you of him — and that’s okay. It’s natural for him to pop into your head, especially after everything you went through together. You won’t be able to erase every thought of him. But you can make things easier on yourself.
You can delete him from social media so you don’t see his face every time you open your feed. You can erase his pictures from your phone so you aren’t tempted to look through them every time you open up your camera roll. You can stop listening to the radio station that always plays his favorite music. You can stop giving yourself more and more reminders of him everywhere you look.
The first step to getting over him is wanting to get over him. If you keep resisting, then you’re not going to stop thinking about him. You have to accept he is out of your life. You have to accept it’s for the best if you stop replaying your favorite moments of him on a loop in your mind.
If it’s impossible for you to stop thinking about him, then at least thing about him in a realistic way. Don’t think about the future you two could have if you made up and got back together. Think about your past and all of the things he’s done that caused you to break up in the first place. Think about all of the ways he’s hurt you. Think about whether he actually deserves to be missed by you, because chances are, it’s better he’s gone.
As soon as you find a way to get over him, you’re going to be happier without him. You’re going to realize the breakup was for the best, even though you were unable to see it at the time. Most of all, you’re going to be proud of yourself for overcoming your heartache.
The more you’re thinking about him, the more you’re hurting yourself, so get your mind on the future instead of reliving the past.