1. You’re not stupid for falling for him. You’re not stupid for staying for such a long time. You’re not stupid for missing him, for having the temptation to text him, for wishing he was still a part of your world.
2. You’re going to feel worse before you feel better. Right now, you might be miserable without him. You might be wondering whether you made a mistake, whether you should have stayed, whether you should have given him another chance. You have to push past those feelings. You did the right thing. Stop second guessing yourself.
3. It’s not your fault you fell for someone so toxic — but that does not mean you were completely innocent. If you got into heated arguments with friends who tried to warn you about him, you might want to apologize to them. You might want to rebuild friendships your relationship caused you to lose.
4. Closure isn’t something you should expect. Answers aren’t something you should expect. You could end up spending your whole life wondering why your person did the things they did if you aren’t careful, which is why you have to stop overanalyzing the past and simply accept it.
5. Don’t get frustrated with yourself over how long it’s taking you to heal. It might take months. It might take years. That is okay. Everyone’s timeline is different.
6. Even though you ended your toxic relationship, it doesn’t mean the pain is over. You are probably going to have some lingering trust issues, abandonment issues, and commitment issues. You are going to be a different person than you were when the relationship started.
7. You might feel weak and vulnerable right now, but you are strong for leaving. You are strong for deciding you are no longer going to put up with a disrespectful relationship. You are strong for choosing to do what is best for your own mental health.
8. There will be people who judge you for leaving your person. They will call you selfish for walking away after everything they have done for you. These people have no idea what they’re talking about. You can’t let their opinions bother you.
9. Delete your ex from your phone. Delete your ex from your social media. And mute any mutual friends who might post pictures with your ex. The less you see of them, the easier it will be to move on from them.
10. Just because this relationship didn’t work out the way you planned, it doesn’t mean all men/women are trash. It doesn’t mean you’re never going to find love. It doesn’t mean you’re destined to end up alone.
11. Your toxic relationship might have brought you baggage, but it also brought you a renewed strength. It brought you countless lessons on what love is and what love should never be.
12. You don’t get to change your past — but you can change your future. You can make sure you never settle for the same type of pain moving forward. You can make sure your standards stay high to avoid a repeat of history.