The Myers-Briggs game in Sex And The City was strong. We had the four temperament groups clearly represented through four badass women – ESFJ Charlotte, ENFP Carrie, ESTP Samantha and INTJ Miranda.
Despite her fondness for shoes, Carrie was a textbook ENFP. She was extroverted, caring, reflective, impulsive and indecisive as hell. The girl could NOT figure out what she wanted and it dragged on for six long seasons. It’s too bad that she didn’t know the first thing about Myers-Briggs – she could have saved herself a whole lot of heartache.
Here’s the list of worst to best suitors for Ms. Bradshaw, based on Myers-Briggs psychology:
5. Aidan – ISFP
Yes Aidan was DREAMY. That’s something we can all agree upon. But he was also a definite sensor and therefore operating on a totally different wavelength than Carrie.
ISFPs and ENFPs make for okay friends at best. Where Aidan was down-to-earth, practical and nurturing, Carrie was frazzled, scattered and self-interested. It’s not that all her traits were negative – it’s just that the abstract way in which she lived her life was exemplified through her relationship with sensible Aidan, making her seem like a horrible human being in comparison to him.
If the show wanted to give Aidan a happy ending, they should have just paired him up with Charlotte. The ESFJ/ISFP pairing is pure gold. And I would take anyone’s sloppy seconds if they looked like that.
4. Big – INTP
Big is tricky because his character was written inconsistently. But before you argue that he was an ENTJ, hear me out. He was some sort of T-dominant type, yes. But this guy was flakey. He did everything alone. He came in and out of Carrie’s life without any reason or rhyme and his emotional competence was zero. The dude was an INTP.
Following this logic, Carrie and Big were atrocious for each other. He was rational where she was emotional. He was systematic where she was impulsive. He made decisions based on extreme rationality, whereas Carrie was a hopeless romantic. There was never any hope for these two and it’s perfectly fitting that he left her at the alter.
INTPs and ENFPs can make it work if they put an extreme amount of energy into understanding one another – which these two characters clearly did not. At best it’s an OK pairing. At worst it’s the absolute train wreck that was Carrie and Mr. Big.
3. Berger – INFP
Want to know what happens to an INFP who doesn’t achieve what they want out of life and consequently hates themselves intensely? Watch any Sex and the City episode starring Mr. Jack Berger. He was insecure, petty and jealous. He had big creative dreams but when those dreams were not realized he couldn’t stand watching his girlfriend soar in a similar field. Welcome to unhealthy introverted feeling. The kind that breaks up with you on a post-it note because they’re passive-aggressive as hell.
Despite the obvious tension, it’s too bad that Carrie and Berger didn’t work out because they were actually adorable together. ENFP/INFP isn’t the best of all possible pairings but it certainly isn’t the worst. The two shared an instant connection, they had just about everything in common and when they were good they were really freaking good. Two NFs in love can be a damned beautiful thing. Unfortunately this is too often the way it goes when two introverted feelers enter into a relationship together – it either tanks or it soars. In this case it tanked. But it sure did have potential from the get-go.
2. Aleksandr Petrovsky – INTJ
I know, I know. He was the world’s biggest dildo and we hate him. Putting that aside, he was typologically perfect for Carrie.
Petrovsky was an introverted intuitive, with a keen artistic eye that always saw a bigger picture. He was intense, passionate, focused and significantly more grounded than Carrie – all the things the flighty ENFP needs in a partner.
The problem with Petrovsky is that he never really took the time to develop his inferior functions. His work was so conceptual that his introverted intuition ran wild, leaving all his other functions in the dust. This means he failed to become the mature, well-balanced partner that he could have been to Carrie. It’s unfortunate, really. A healthy INTJ is the ENFP’s perfect match. Which brings us to the inevitable conclusion that there’s only one person Carrie should have actually ended up with.
And that person is:
1. Miranda – INTJ
Sex and the City was huge on the idea that our friends are our truest soul mates. And in Carrie and Miranda’s case, this was completely on point. Miranda demonstrated all the qualities of a well-developed INTJ – She was analytical yet open-minded, rational yet understanding, organized without being rigid and intelligent without being a know-it-all. She balanced Carrie out in all the right ways and the two learned more from one another throughout the show than either of them did through their respective relationships.
It’s no secret that of all the girls on the show, Carrie and Miranda had the most natural connection. They were in just about every sense of the phrase, each other’s perfect soul mates. And I couldn’t help but wonder… why didn’t they end up together?