18. A Dead Bedroom Within Two Years Of Marriage

He gave up. He just totally gave up. He used to be into several martial arts, and he was heavily muscled, but at a normal weight for his height. He looked good, stocky-built, but a standard good. After a couple of years of school, he got into politics, which turned into long days and late nights and never eating properly and getting addicted to energy drinks.

I’d cook healthy for us at home, discourage trips out to eat or fast food runs, but it did no good. Left to his own devices, on his own hours, it was soda pop and energy drinks and junk food just constantly. I tried to address it several times. I got us both gym memberships as engagement presents. I begged him to go with me, and he would refuse, and make up excuses, and yell at me for being a nag.

I told myself I still loved him, and that the physical attraction wasn’t the base of our connection. Our friendship was/is. I still loved the person I knew, just…there was more to him. We fell into a dead bedroom within two years of marriage. I couldn’t feel attracted to him in that way. I felt repulsed when he would touch me.

I’ll never tell him that I hate our wedding pictures. I want to cry because he doesn’t look like the man that I met. In five years, he gained that 100+ pounds.

What’s important is that we are still friends and still have good experiences together. I have accepted that he may die from cholesterol issues, which run in his family. He has made his decision about his health and how it will affect me. There are days that it really, really hurts.

What do you do? Decide if the relationship still serves you. Decide if this person still matters to you. Accept that their choices are their own, and be aware of potential consequences. If the consequences of their choices outweigh any potential good future, get out.