RomanceBreaking Up

I Hate That I Still Think Of You

I hate that I still think of you. You treated me poorly time and time again. Wasn’t that reason enough for me to tell you off?

I told you to leave me alone. I blocked your phone number. I deleted your contact information.

And yet I still think of you every day.

I hate that I do. But I’d be lying if I said I was completely over you.

I’d never felt the way I did about anyone as I had about you, which is why I stayed so long. I’m still young, and I trust that I will find love again. There’s still plenty of time for me to meet someone who will treat me much better than you ever did. But for now, I still think of you more than I’d like to admit.

I am often tempted to unblock your number. I have gone back and forth between blocking and unblocking it in the past, and you would always come back. You told me you were sorry, that you wouldn’t do the same toxic shit. But of course, you did. And I let you in time and time again, only to be left feeling disappointed and hurt. I feel stupid looking back, but I thought maybe you would finally change and appreciate me. You never did.

Perhaps in the future you will understand what you put me through. I’d like to think so, but I’ll never know for sure. I don’t think this relationship was all that easy for you either. We were definitely addicted to one another. It was toxic. It was bullshit.

Just like any other relationship breakup, day by day, I know you’ll fade away from my memory. But for now you’re like a bad dream that haunts me.

I don’t really know what it was like on your end and I never will. But I don’t really care anymore. I’m ready to move on. But for now, you still pop into my brain everyday. And I hate that I still think of you.

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