50 People On ‘The Secret I Am Terrified To Tell’

People reveal their deepest, darkest secrets.



I was jumped by a group of gang members a number of years ago. I was hospitalized, wound up with a concussion, broken jaw, 46 stitches and tens of thousands of medical bills I am still unable to pay. I know who all the gang members are and directly recognized one of the assailants and filed a police report. He had an “alibi” and nothing ever came of my case.

I had run in with them again a few years after that and ended up with stitches and no charges sticking to my attackers.

I see these gang members around town still. I get chased out of bars, and there are certain places I don’t frequent because I know they may be there. I bought a hand gun just a few short years ago for my own protection and knowing these guys are not just going to let me slide if they run into me again. I carry it if I know I’ll be in “problem areas” and neighborhoods where these guys may be.

One night, not too long ago, my girlfriend an I were walking downtown when I noticed a large group of them hanging outside a bar. I told my girlfriend to wait for me at another bar not too far away while I pulled my hat down over my face and put my hood up. I walked across the street to a construction zone where I could keep out of sight and still keep an eye on them. A half hour later two of them came walking across the street passed the construction zone. I popped out drew my gun and fired at them twice, unknowingly missing the first one, but hitting the other in the gut. He keeled over and let out a long groan before falling to the ground. I looked for the fist one and he was laying in the street a few yards away (ducking for cover).

Thinking I had hit them both I ran around the corner pocketed my gun then ran to hide by an over pass a number of blocks away. I texted my girlfriend, she came and met up with me, and we took a cab home which drove by the scene.
The man that I shot is now in a wheel chair, paralyzed from the chest down. They (the police, the gang members, the community) didn’t know who shot them, they think it was rival gang members. I still see them around town. They are not any more weary, but I am armed and ready.

I’ve only told my best friend this story. He told me not to tell anyone else, not only because I could get in trouble, but because it would change peoples perception of me. My girlfriend never really asked what happened that night but she expects me to tell her at some point.



My mother has multiple sclerosis and her health has deteriorated fast since I have been born. She was gone from being able to walk, to needing a cane, to needing a walker, to complete wheelchair usage, and now completely bedridden. She has a urinary tract infection that is untreatable and is constantly in physical and emotional pain. She takes prescribed medication for depression and bipolar disorder, as well as sleeping pills. Throughout my childhood she has tried to kill herself three times because she wants the pain to stop.

In the middle of the night, I bought something from a dealer and snuck into my house to give it to my mother.
She passed away within 2 hours.

My dad, sisters and brother have no clue.



While on deployment, I killed a man in a coup de grace. The feelings of taking a man’s life always weigh a heavy burden on me every day. No one like’s hurting people. He had been hit by some of our mobile artillery. While part of me wanted the bastard to be in pain, it wasn’t right. My medic was busy with my wounded, and as the officer on duty I took out my .45 and put one in his head. I knew my boys wouldn’t say anything. Most just watched, accepted it as a fact of war, and kept walking .I remember throwing up afterwards. I came home and everyone acted like I was a hero. I never felt like more of a sham my entire life.

About the author
Chrissy is the author of What I Didn't Post On Instagram and a poetry book, We Are All Just A Collection of Cords. Follow Chrissy on Instagram or read more articles from Chrissy on Thought Catalog.

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