Chelsea Fagan

I honestly feel badly for people who think this, because they are clearly missing out.

This is the human equivalent of peeing on a patch of land to mark your dominance, and it’s awful.

Everyone wants to be ugly, to be caught naked with unflattering lights on and feel like they are still desired.

When we’re drunk, though, when our cheeks are flushed with rosé, something changes.

Instagramming blurry photos of your friends that no one can decipher, captioned with inside jokes that make no sense.

Encourage them to bring a bottle of sparkling wine each. Get day drunk, talk about your awesome projects and experiences, and eat pastries. It’s the perfect afternoon.

I have found that 90 percent of the time, two things are happening. One, you are attributing to malice what is mostly just ignorance or forgetfulness. Two, people are generally pretty cool and want to make things right again.

There is something really, really important about this song.

His suit game is completely untouchable, even by Roger Sterling.

I cannot even.

Teaching the little sister about all of the parental rules that are set in stone, and all the rules that can be bent and/or broken if need be.

You might fall in love with a local.

How terrible you used to be at holding your liquor, and the ridiculous combination of drinks you used to deem acceptable, such as Rikaloff and Hawaiian Punch served in a Nalgene.

Do not assign moral value to food items, on your own plate or anyone else’s. A mozzarella stick is a mozzarella stick, and nothing more.

Everyone knows when someone got new head shots done, because they post the 72 best outtakes on their Facebook page one by one, and then make the most flattering one their profile picture.

Join me in this mystical voyage through the most pressing reasons why potatoes deserve our love.

I thought that a man crying was a rare and ugly thing, certainly nothing that I would encounter in my romantic life.

Always text back promptly, even if it’s to let someone down gently. The worst thing you can possibly to do someone is leave them hanging so they can torture themselves with worst case scenarios.