24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014

It’s time to talk about what it means to be a Lady, in a more updated way than swilling vodka martinis while pushing a vacuum, or getting your hair set once a week into a beehive. We’ve set down some ground rules for modern gentlemen, now it’s our turn.

1. Master at least one dish that you can whip up on relatively short notice, for when you’re having people over and don’t want to be like, “There’s a box of stale Wheat Thins left if you want to fight over those.”

2. Hold doors for everyone, especially older people or people carrying heavy things.

3. Make plans with friends you haven’t seen in a while, and actually follow through with them. (This includes not scheduling things on a morning when you know you’re going to be too hungover to go anywhere.)

4. If one of your friends is a little too drunk to handle herself at the bar/club/house party, do the right thing and remain sober-ish enough to properly babysit and facilitate her trip home.

5. Do not assign moral value to food items, on your own plate or anyone else’s. A mozzarella stick is a mozzarella stick, and nothing more.

6. When another woman compliments your cute bag/shoes/dress and asks you where it’s from, it is your moral obligation to tell you where you got it — especially if it was on sale. Thou shalt not withold the deals.

7. When taking a boy shopping, always make sure there is at least a comfy place for him to sit if you’re going to be trying on more than one outfit (and you know that you likely are, even if you state otherwise upon entering the store).

You should follow Thought Catalog on Pinterest here.

8. Always give someone the chance to make up for it if they’ve hurt your feelings, and the best way to start that process off is giving them the dignity of telling them how they hurt you. Ladies don’t subtweet, they earnestly reach out on Gchat.

9. Be happy for friends when they announce big life moments, such as engagement or pregnancy, if only on the surface. (Exceptions of course being made for situations that are seriously unhealthy or endangering.) When it comes time for your big moment, you’ll want the same kind of support.

10. Have at least one outfit in the closet for job interview, one for first date, and one for going home to see family (yours or someone else’s). The amount of headaches that can be spared by simply having a versatile blazer and pencil skirt at one’s disposal are incalculable.

11. Never disparage another woman for choosing and embracing the domestic/housewive/stay-at-home-mom life.

12. Never disparage another woman for choosing a really demanding career instead of family life, if that’s what she wants.

13. Keep a small bar in your apartment with the basics to make a few classic, tasty drinks for a small variety of tastes. There is a time and a place for having only a bottle of Mad Dog and some Boone’s in your cupboards, and that time is 19 years old.

14. Learn the worlds of options there are between “orthopedically criminal high heels” and “computer programmer running shoes.” Find something stylish that also works for your life and tastes.

15. Never base your feminism in telling other women what makes them a “good” or “bad” feminist. Being a good, compassionate person should be your only criteria, and wearing makeup or liking Sex and the City should not be an issue.

16. Keep fresh-cut flowers in your house.

17. Be a good hostess — learn how to make people feel comfortable and welcome in your house, and leave feeling like they got to be themselves.

18. Stop looking at marriage as the defining endeavor in a woman’s life, no matter how much it has been ingrained into you. It should neither be something you actively disdain, nor something you seek out with white-knuckled deadlines.

19. While you are not obligated to like any other woman strictly on the basis of being a woman, and there are certain things that are totally fair criticisms, her weight is never one of them.

20. Do not consume media which you know, before you even see it, is going to make you feel badly about yourself. If you watched the VS Fashion Show and spent the whole time liveblogging about how ugly and inadequate it made you feel, do not give it your mental health next year. It doesn’t deserve it.

21. Always have a backup plan.

22. Give other women compliments when they are sincere and non-selfish, because girl-on-girl compliments are the greatest thing and the mark of a true lady.

23. Do not hold gender-based expectations about who is “supposed” to pay for things. Everyone contribute, everyone do what they can, everyone take pleasure in being the one who gets to treat the other sometimes.

24. Be the one to kiss first sometimes, and don’t ever think that makes you weird or too forward. First kisses are too great a joy not to be shared by all genders. TC mark

Want more stories about women? Check out Thought Catalog Books anthology “Girls?” by clicking here.


Girls? A Thought Catalog eBook available now.
image – Mad Men

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.


More From Thought Catalog

  • http://loryros.wordpress.com Lory Ros

    Reblogged this on Seeing Sounds.

  • http://nursewannabeinfl.com/ Michelle
  • http://hyperdermik.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/the-art-of-the-gentle-man/ The Art of the Gentle Man | Keeping The Dream Alive

    […] response to Chelsea Fagan is below. For the record, it is also worthwhile for readers to view her Rules for being a Lady so as to get a rounded view of her origin & direction in the sphere of human interactions. One […]

  • http://apuppetshownamedjulio.wordpress.com/ juleegrl

    Reblogged this on a puppet show named julio and commented:
    Especially #24, #8, #21 and #3.

  • http://dreddeddeuce.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/how-real-men-and-ladies-should-act-and-not-wait-til-2014-to-do-it/ How Real Men (and ladies) should act…and not wait til 2014 to do it. | From the Dredded Mind of Aitch

    […] (while you are at it, click this open too because this may get referred to also.) […]

  • http://dreddeddeuce.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/how-real-men-and-ladies-should-act-and-not-wait-til-2014-to-do-it-2/ How Real Men (and ladies) should act…and not wait til 2014 to do it | From the Dredded Mind of Aitch

    […] (while you are at it, click this open too because this may get referred to also.) […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/12/24-rules-for-being-a-human-being-in-2014/ 24 Rules For Being A Human Being In 2014 | Thought Catalog

    […] lovely Chelsea Fagan outlined some rules for ladies and gentlemen to reach their best selves in 2014, and in light of that, I’d like to chime in, […]

  • http://www.poiseinparma.com/2013/12/13/link-it-up-must-read-posts-on-12-13-2013/ Link It Up: Must Read Posts on 12.13.2013 | poise in parma

    […] 24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 – I’m still working on number 14 (see today’s Instagram post), and the planner in me lives by number 21. […]

  • http://comealilcloser.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/24-rules-for-being-a-lady-in-2014-thought-catalog/ 24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 | Thought Catalog | Vivian Xie

    […] 24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 | Thought Catalog. […]

  • http://collegewhat.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/24-rules-for-being-a-lady-in-2014/ “24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014″ | collegewhat

    […] If you would like to read the list yourself, here is the link. […]

  • http://thespellingcontest.com/2013/12/17/188/ The Spelling Contest

    […] Fagan’s follow-up Rules for Being a Lady in 2014, is a shopping list which veers back toward conventional wisdom at the end. Her last two rules: pay […]

  • http://orthogals.com/2013/12/20/linkage-8/ Linkage | Orthogals

    […] Rules for Being a Lady in 2014 [Thought Catalog] — and for the […]

  • http://onevirginontherocks.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/24-rules-for-being-a-lady-in-2014/ 24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 | Virgin On The Rocks

    […] 24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 | Thought Catalog. […]

  • http://onetimefashionista.com/2014/01/04/new-year-eve-look/ New Year Eve Look | onetimefashionista

    […] lovely Chelsea Fagan outlined some rules for ladies and gentlemento reach their best selves in 2014, and in light of that, I’d like to chime in, to […]

  • https://starlynshost.com/24-rules-for-being-a-human-being-in-2014/ 24 Rules For Being A Human Being In 2014 | Starlyns.com

    […] lovely Chelsea Fagan outlined some rules for ladies and gentlemento reach their best selves in 2014, and in light of that, I’d like to chime in, to […]

  • http://cocktailswithhemingway.com/2014/01/06/over-it-ladies/ Over it, ladies | Cocktails With Hemingway

    […] I concur.  Keep it elegant and classy, ladies, while being mindful of our contemporary era.  24 Rules For Being A Lady In 2014 offers an excellent primer.  Can I get an amen for #11, #12, and […]

  • http://stylingfabulous.com/2014/01/24-rules-for-being-a-lady-in-2014/ 24 rules for being a lady in 2014... | Styling Fabulous

    […] what makes a lady? is it in the clothes she wears? is it how she carries herself? is it how she treats others? while i believe being a lady constitutes all of these…and more…back in december i came across this fabulous article/post written by chelsea fagan…24 rules for being a lady in 2014… […]

  • http://shradhabhatia.com/2014/01/link-love-james-blunt-and-hashtags/ Link Love: James Blunt and Hashtags | Shradha Bhatia

    […] la belle femme needs to read 24 Rules For Being a Lady in 2014, pronto. Real world advice from a real girl which will make your life infinitely easier and […]

  • http://thecircular.org/the-lady-code/ The Lady Code | The Circular

    […] Click here and here to see them all. If you are interested in some further reading, click here to see the […]

  • http://lifeinmycamera.wordpress.com dhorice

    Reblogged this on lifeinmycamera.

  • http://www.puregeekery.net/2013/12/13/rules-for-being-a-lady-in-2014/ Rules For Being a Lady in 2014 - Pure Geekery

    […] Shortly after I had finished this post, the original author’s “24 Rules For Being A Lady in 2014” started appearing in my Facebook feed. It’s also worth a […]

  • http://duchessofhalettend.wordpress.com Adriana Farrell

    Reblogged this on the Duchess of halettend and commented:
    A beautiful egalitarian article on being a true lady.

  • http://www.mylespaul.com/forums/backstage/357558-23-behaviors-gentleman-3.html#post7472391 23 Behaviors Of A Gentleman - Page 3 - MyLesPaul.com

    […] monitor themselves, and men, far more closely then men pay attention of much of anything… 24 Rules For Being A Lady __________________ […]

  • https://www.quora.com/I-am-more-of-a-tomboy-But-I-want-to-be-like-other-girls-who-are-soft-and-sweet-How-can-I-change-myself#ans21446937 Quora

    I am more of a tomboy. But I want to be like other girls, who are soft and sweet. How can I change myself?

    First of all, ask yourself what is it that has made you question your lifestyle. Is it really admiration for the girls who seem “feminine” (though i really never understood the points it covers) or is it some kind of social approval that you crave. A…

  • https://sebastyne.com/blog/how-to-be-a-lady-in-2016-2/ How to be a lady in 2016

    […] pointers came from Miss Chelsea Fagan, who also offered some sound life advice that has really nothing to do with being a […]

blog comments powered by Disqus