35 People Reveal Their True Life Stories That No One Will Believe

Kuba Bożanowski / flickr.com
Kuba Bożanowski / flickr.com
Found on AskReddit.

1. The product of a very creepy affair.

My dad was married 2 times before my mom. When he was with his second wife, he would travel a lot for work. One night he came home to find his wife in bed with another man. Actually walked in on them. He left the room and came back with a gun. Shot the man dead, and wounded his wife. He turned himself in immediately and was sent to prison. He was sentenced to 10 years in a maximum security prison. In the last year he was in prison (which was the 4th year, he got out for good behavior, and since the judge ruled it a crime of passion), he met the prison minister. The prison minister was my mom. My dad is a murderer, my mom was the minister. I am the product of a conjugal visit.

2. Don’t fly through the Atlanta airport if you want to live!

My aunt has only ever flown from Atlanta airport twice. The first time it was hijacked, taken to Cuba, and then sent back to the states. The second time the landing gear didn’t work and they did a crash landing on the belly of the plane. My aunt has never flown through Atlanta since.

3. A chilling romance.

I met a guy online. We emailed and messaged (this was before texting was a thing) and went out a few times. I liked him but wasn’t sure about it. He called me pretty regularly (again, this was pre-texting). One day, no calls. That night I called and left him a message. No return call. I called his work the next day, and he hadn’t shown up. I called the police, who did a well-person check at his house but he wasn’t there. I wasn’t there. The next day the police called me back — they’d found his body. He’d been murdered by one of his neighbors and I had to testify at the trial.

4. This guy might be a ninja.

In college I had a bunked bed with my desk under it. I was in bed reaching for my cell on the desk and lost my balance, fell off the bed, did a full flip and landed in a perfect sitting position in my chair unharmed. My roommate witnessed everything but nobody believed us.

5. This is what happens when a gorilla is eternally grateful to you.

My husband had the opportunity to operate on a gorilla’s knee once. They have essentially the same anatomy as humans, so they ask human physicians to operate on them in many major zoos. It was really cool, and afterwards they gave him a painting done by the gorilla as thanks. Apparently the gorilla was going through some adolescent rank-wars with other male gorillas and had his knee battered and bitten (through the meniscus!). I know, it’s his story, not mine, but he doesn’t get on the Internet, and I think it’s super cool and I’m really proud of him.

6. How does one have such bad luck?

Mentioned this before on this sub, but my life is akin to a bad pun at times. I was carrying my skis, slipped on some ice, and fell down. I asked a passing girl if she could lend me a hand with the skis while I got up. She then told me she had no arms, and proceeded to wave her empty coat sleeves around as proof. I just kind of fumbled to get up whilst apologizing profusely. She giggled and walked away.

7. Maybe this guy needs smarter friends?

Long story short: I was asleep at a friends, a kid who was there thought my friends .45 cal hand gun was a “BB gun”, he shot me in the left ass cheek, severed femoral vein, damaged femoral artery, life support for a week and a half, three 8 hour surgeries, permanent femoral vein to femoral vein bypass (fake vein) and a little over a year later I’m back on my feet on my way to being normal again.

8. Stevie Wonder appeared out of nowhere.

When I was 23 I had to spend the night at the DC-Reagan airport. I hadn’t gone through security yet so I was walking the main strip where you check-in. It was about 1AM so there was no one there since the counters were closed. Then out of nowhere, Stevie fucking Wonder shows up. Said hi for like a minute then he and his assistant disappeared.

9. Her car was struck by lightning.

On my way home from school about 7 years ago, I was sitting at a very busy intersection waiting to turn left. It was very gloomy outside. All of a sudden, it sounded and felt like the back of my car exploded. There was also a quick, very bright light that flashed in my rear view mirror. I panicked, and noticed immediately after that the stoplights stopped working, and it also began to rain. I looked out in the distance, and saw a lightning strike. I also looked on either side of me where there was a ton of traffic, and everyone was staring at me like this. That’s right, I was struck by lightning.

10. He witnessed his friend get eaten by a crocodile.

I’ve posted this before but here we go again. When we were younger we would play a game where we would throw a pot lid as far as we could into the water and someone would have to fetch it. Basically like playing fetch with your dog. The kid who would win was the one who swum the furthest. One day, a kid through the lid really far but the other kid was determined to get it. He swum out really far and then bam. The crocodile got him and dragged him underwater.

11. Isn’t this what all helicopters are used for?

I was eating at a chipotle when someone flies their helicopter there, parks in the parking lot, gets a burrito, and then takes off in his helicopter.

12. Bad luck seems to follow her everywhere.

I have three dead exes. One died when he was 25 from a car accident, one when he was 30 from a ‘mysterious illness’, and another one was stabbed 40 times by his girlfriend’s jealous ex. He was 18. I also lost my virginity to a dude with a glass eye who went to jail for rape.

13. Sounds chill…

Born and lived in a brothel until age 13.

14. Not your average life, that’s for sure!

I unknowingly installed webcams, computers and Internet access into a 10-room mansion for a wealthy business executive who was importing 18 y/o boys from Thailand to be his pets. It took about 2 months to complete the whole project and he would always take me out to get hotdogs for lunch. I’ve been hunted across the country by the FBI. (They found me, no need to re-find me!) I was at a rave once when a drive-by occurred and I dove behind a giant propane tank for protection. I went from making $20k/yr to $150k/yr in one phone call and 3 days later.

15. Bill Murray told her she’s beautiful.

I met Bill Murray when he was on a flight with me to New York. Despite my embarrassing nervousness (I was actually shaking), I managed to ask him to have his picture taken with me. Someone else took the picture, and said “I hope it turns out okay!” and Bill Murray responded: “I’m sure it will, we’re both beautiful people!” Bill Murray called me beautiful and nobody will ever believe it. Found it! Edited myself out of it because I don’t want my picture on reddit (and I’m not actually beautiful, despite what Bill said), but here it is.

16. Haribo is more dangerous than you think.

I ate five pounds of stale Haribo in one night, didn’t shit for a week, then had the most intense shit of my life. The most intense experience of my entire life. I was thinking about calling 911 during the build up to that shit (while crowning), I actually put “911” into my phone app and was seriously contemplating calling an ambulance. But after I got through it, I felt fantastic, like I could do cartwheels, like I was walking on air.

17. A horrible ending to high school.

My high school boyfriend died a day before I turned 18, the day I was going to pack up my stuff, we were going to elope and run away to North Dakota (he worked there and had been living there for two months at this point). He was older, handsome, ex-military and I adored him. He called me from the road and we exchanged the following words before he passed: Me – “I love you, I look forward to seeing you tonight. You mean the world to me, you are my everything.” Him – “I love you, too. I’d die a happy man if those words were the last words I ever heard.” His phone records showed that was the last conversation he had on his phone, he was hit by a drunk driver less than five minutes later.

18. This guy just doesn’t feel like husband material to me.

I met a guy online. Fell in love. We were a couple for five or so months, began to make plans to meet. Before that could happen, his sister was killed in a car accident. Meeting plans were put on hold. He started to pull away. I went to Baton Rouge with the Red Cross after hurricane Katrina. While there, I found out I was being catfished. I then revenge fucked another guy I knew from online for a couple days. He turned out to be a top-notch douche. I went home and called my catfisher. There was no car accident, his sister was alive, and it was basically a panicked attempt to delay meeting. I ended up eventually forgiving him. I flew across the country, met him, and fell in love in person. I moved out there a couple months later. Everything was amazing, we were so happy. For a year. Then he moved for his job, and despite his protests (I loved where we lived and had a great job), followed him. Three weeks later he came to my apartment after work one day. He broke down in tears, and told me he was getting married that weekend in an arranged marriage. Thirty-six hours later I watched him get on a plane and haven’t seen him since. Tomorrow is his seventh wedding anniversary.

19. Welp, if you survived that, you can pretty much survive anything.

Was walking back from Lava Lounge in Seattle back in 2001. Was doing some underage drinking. There was some scaffolding and construction around the Crocodile. Out of nowhere, a gang of 8 or so drunken clowns start getting loud, approach me, and then dry humped me against a wall for a minute. Was probably 1am.

20. If you get sent to jail, at least don’t let it be in Mexico.

Went to jail in Mexico for smoking weed, got bailed out by a Mexican coke dealer, partied and lived to tell about it all.

21. This is upsetting.

I posted about this before but people eventually called bullshit. Unfortunately it was very true but due to the legal issues I was pursuing at the time I wasn’t elaborating further on it. A few years back I walked in on my (now ex) girlfriend sucking my dog’s dick. If there’s any interest I can elaborate further.

22. He knew Barack Obama before he became president.

I played basketball with Barack Obama before he was a big deal, he was just standing there watching me andmy friends play a game of 21 and I look over and he smiles really big I thought he was a weird for a while and my first impression was “man that guy has a big head” and than our game gets done, he comes right over and asks if he could join in, I think he might have been in his 30s at the time. He was a good team player and the type of person that you automatically want to be friends with never saw him after that. He never said what he did or what his profession was but we talked casually and he left a great impression on me

23. Seems they didn’t really go over their past history before deciding to marry one another.

Before our wedding my husband to be and I were going through our old school pictures, his class picture from 1st grade was the same as mine, he was standing right behind me. I should mention that my family moved 200 miles away when I was in 3rd grade, I met my husband when we were in college.

24. Oh, that’s not horrifying at all!

I was kidnapped by a sovereign citizen /anarchist group and nearly killed. To this day, one of their members has been trying to run me over. They’ve also said that my family line must end and none of my siblings can have grandkids. And the police are to afraid to do anything about it. And this all happened in the northeast US.

25. A miracle if I’ve ever heard one.

My mum had always been told she couldn’t have children. When her dad died, she went through an emotional time and asked God for some sign that he was in heaven. Suddenly she finds out she’s pregnant, and the due date was her dad’s birthday.

26. When you pull the trigger, and it ends up being a BB gun…

Someone forced me to pull the trigger to a gun against their head. No bullet, but I didn’t know. It was a heated moment, I was sobbing, left me a huge mess. Doesn’t even seem real to me now, it’s been so long ago. That entire time of my life doesn’t feel real even.

27. This guy stole someone else’s identity and hasn’t looked back since.

I am not who I am. Back in 1990s I walked out of a hospital with another patient’s identity and have been living as that person ever since. At that time I already did not have any next of kin and no, I do not know what ever happened to the person I took documents from. I have been living in a different country and I had been issued passports in the name of that person twice already, I had submitted my biometric data and as I had no problem obtaining the passports I assume that my identity donor is most probably dead and gone. I am not a criminal and I am a sort of wealthy expat businessman here with a permanent residence permit. I had never been to my homeland since and am working on obtaining citizenship here.

28. He survived a plane crash.

I was in a plane crash, into the ocean. I swam more than 20 miles, to shore, alone in the dark to get help for the other survivors in the plane.

29. Her mom was still breastfeeding her when she was 14.

I didn’t stop breast-feeding until I was around 14. I’m a girl. And no there was no milk left, but somehow my mom just never got around to weening me off of it until I realized that this was fucking weird and refused to keep doing it. Even now when I’m upset she would ask me if I wanted to suck her boobs. I’m 19. If it matters, my dad died when I was 8.

30. Apparently there are minefields that we are not warned of in the U.S.

I walked every day, unbeknownst to me, on a minefield. While pregnant. In the United States.

31. Yeah, this does NOT happen to everyone.

When I was 18, I was in a dorm room and looking for my Econ-books. Looked in the closet, and yeah, they were on the floor. As I bent over and picked them up, I slipped and banged into the back of the closet, and a board came loose. There was a sock in there. In it was about $1600. That was a good summer.

32. The time God finally heard his prayers.

Was praying one night about a purpose for my life while driving home. Was inexplicably moved to pull over on the side of the road to talk to a kid I saw sitting on a bench. We had in common the same name, age, and medical conditions (I have multiple sclerosis). Turns out he was sitting on the road due to a concussion he’d gotten earlier in the night, and needed me to drive him to the hospital. I’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since.

33. Her ex-boyfriend had multiple personality disorder.

I had a boyfriend with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder, or split personalities). On numerous occasions, I watched him switch identities right in front of me. He only knew of three identities, but I counted at least four. At one point, he switched WHILE we were having sex to his most insane identity — I was on top and looked down at him, and he had this creepy smile and I just knew. Fucking terrifying. Anyway, one of his personalities was female, and after a time of identifying as various stages of bi/gay, he finally decided/realized that he truly felt like a woman, and has been undergoing sexual reassignment therapy for the last few years.

34. VERY disconcerting to know that this has happened.

My dad’s first wife was murdered by a hit-man, hired by a funeral director, that just sold her a burial plot, because he needed more business. Both fled the country and were never caught.

35. He was held hostage.

When I was five, car full of bank robbers ran inside the Laundromat where my mom was doing her weekly wash. They grabbed me as a hostage while the SWAT was surrounding the building. There was a gun to my head and about a thousand men in black gear and helmets pointing weapons at the robber. But they negotiated I guess and they ended up getting arrested. TC mark

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