22 Everyday Signs That Your ‘Forever Person’ Is A Fuckboy In Disguise

@_eatandlove_ /
@_eatandlove_ /

1. Makes fun of you in a mean-spirited way. All couples tease, and sometimes it is VERY good natured, but if he is poking where it hurts a little too often he probably doesn’t care about you.

2. Doesn’t want to introduce you to his parents. If you’ve been talking for a while, and he still seems to go out of his way to keep you away from his parents, he probably doesn’t seem you as a long-term prospect.

3. Doesn’t want to meet your parents, or hang out with your close friends really. If he doesn’t seem interested in the important people in your life, he isn’t interested in you for anything serious — period.

4. All his ex’s have bad things to say. Now, it’s perfectly normal for good people to have bad breakups that stir up some bad blood. But if he has a LONG line of ex’s who are claim he’s horrible, that’s a very ominous sign that you shouldn’t ignore because “you’re different!” or “he’s changed this time!!”

5. Becomes MUCH more interested in texting you back after 10:00pm. Classic fuckboy move, but fuckboys in disguise (FIDs) do this too — they are just more subtle about it. The text might not be “u up?” it might just be asking you about your day, or saying how much they miss you.

6. Always has excuses for why he can’t do anything with you. He’s always busy. Crazy week at work. Studying for a big test. Oddly, however, you see fresh Instagrams of him out at the bars.

7. His guy friends always come first. Always. Mark wants to go out to the bar. Brad needs help asking someone to dance. Chad wants to play video games. He always has a whole schedule of activities with his guy friends, and you are somehow always so much lower on the priority list.

8. He doesn’t pay much attention to you when at parties with other people. He always has “someone to catch up with” or “promised to pay a game of pong with Dave.” He will be happy to go home with you after the party though.

9. He goes “all out” on big romantic gestures, but isn’t there for the everyday things. It’s easy to get confused, because he is really good at the Valentine’s Day surprise or the birthday gift. But when you need him to go to the doctor with you, he’s a ghost.

10. He doesn’t have a stable group of friends. People rotate in and out of his life a lot, and he doesn’t have many “best friends” because his understanding of loyalty might be ambiguous.

11. He gets really defensive when you ask him questions. Every perfectly valid question you have is “attacking” him, or being untrusting.

12. He avoids labels in your relationship. He’s not your “boyfriend” you are just “dating.” You aren’t “dating” you are just “talking.” Everything is super casual. Even if you are in an official relationship, he insists that it is super “easy going.”

13. He has a lot of “girl friends” that he won’t introduce you to, or talk about. And when you ask, again, he gets defensive.

14. There’s always an excuse for EVERYTHING. There’s an excuse, a story, an explanation for every time he can’t help you, or be with you, or weird behavior. It’s almost like he’s done this before.

15. He says really sweet words to you, but his actions are empty. He’s great at complimenting you and making you feel great in the moment, but nothing lasts.

16. He probably also buys you gifts, but they feel empty too.

17. He loves Snapchat a little too much when talking to you. Snapchat can be great, but being able to send messages to multiple people at once can make it a prime tool for someone who wants to talk to…more than one girl at a time. Also he wants nudes from you on it a little too much.

18. He chats with a LOT of girls in social media comments. And the comments are never totally over the line, but are kinda flirty.

19. And LOVES talk about how many “likes” his Instagram pictures get. Why does it matter to him so much? Because he is the priority.

20. He doesn’t ask you about your day. Or your week. Or your life. Or anything.

21. He never wants to go out with you. Just stay in and “watch movies.”

22. He doesn’t treat people particularly well. He doesn’t tip well, he doesn’t treat people with respect, and he probably needs to get out of your life. TC mark

Brittany Cox

Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, #GuysInsight, sex, and snark.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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