10 Lies Disney Told Me
In order to bag a Princess/live happily ever after/be a hero, princes have to be: ripped, two weeks away from coming into their inheritance, live in a castle, and have a face like looking directly at an orgasm.
How To Go Vegan Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
Clearly, your parents have been telling you to eat your vegetables your entire life — there is no way a (well-thought out) plant-based diet can be bad for you. But because here in America we tend to be obsessed with steak and cheese, going vegan can be really hard. Or it can be really easy, depending on how you go about it.
I Have ASMR, Do You?
But let’s be honest — it’s kind of weird. Most ASMR-ers are in the closet about this, because how in the world would you interject it into a conversation?
Why You Should Start Smoking
People romanticize the past all out of proportion, but the past can still be our lives. Taking up smoking will help teach you this: for smoking is an attempt to master time.
Why Lipstick Lesbians Have To Keep Coming Out Of The Closet
I’m where I’m meant to be now, but I hate that I believed I had to present myself differently in order for others to believe that I’m queer. I hate that dressing girly now makes me invisible to the lesbian community. What I hate most of all, however, is that even if I make it a known fact that I am into women, I am still doubted and distrusted by everyone.
A Thank You To Real Friends
Getting a beer with someone after work hours is something you propose because it seems appropriate, because it’s simply what you do. So what if the conversation’s tedious? So what if you have nothing in common? This is what adults do, right?
5 Ways To Reduce Your Self-Loathing
Wouldn’t it be totally annoying to have a conversation with someone who would rather bellyache for hours than devote the same amount of time to addressing these issues? Yeah. That annoying person is you, gurl. Not a good look.
I Want To Know You
People with kind hearts make me feel dirty. Like I need to give my personality a bath or something. Rub it clean of my neuroses and judgments. But that’s a good thing. When someone inspires you to take a long hard look at yourself and question all of your bad habits, they’re someone worth keeping around.
Some Notes On Testing Positive
I mean, I’m pretty much the picture of sexual health unless, I dunno, maybe I get drunk or kind of high and she has good eye makeup and it’s a public restroom or library or rooftop and the weather’s decent and — okay, so I’ve made some mistakes, but this is the price I pay for it?
50 Special Skills And Talents Omitted From My Resumé
1. Hardly sounds like he’s from Boston at all. 2. Willing to be big spoon or little spoon. 3. Has a terrific family recipe for brownies.
Why Being In Your 20s Is Awesome
I want to remember the fear, I want to remember the promise, I want to remember the nights I wanted to curl up in a ball, I want to remember the people I’m not supposed to remember, I want to remember not knowing myself, I want to remember the moment I started to feel safe and like this life I’m leading is really mine.
Things You Learn After Your First Heartbreak
You learn that the person who once protected you from all harm could one day become the harm. They could become the thing they spent so much time shielding you from. That’s how it always seems to work though, doesn’t? We give people power over our lives, we let them dictate the rhythms, and then we act surprised when there’s scratches.
Why Name-Calling Is Despicable
Calling someone a name is a lazy person’s resource. It takes away all of their collected knowledge, their education and their manners, putting them in the same class as barbarian trolls who don’t know any better.
What To Do When An Indian Answers Your Tech Support Call
It’s weird — even foreign people who work their asses off 12-14 hours a day to help support their families (and extended families) expect some modicum of respect and decency from the Americans who call them for assistance.
8 Things That Will Ruin Your Day
There are few things worse than realizing, the second it’s too late to go back and change, that your outfit looks like something your grandmother would have dressed you in as a child, shortly after her cataract surgery.
How To Have The Best Weekend Of Your Young Adult Life
Sleep over at your friend’s house. Normally you hate sleeping in someone else’s bed but it feels right this time. You wake up next to your best friend feeling so happy you did. So much better than waking up alone or next to a one-night stand.
The 8 Gayest Songs To Ever Exist
When I first heard this song, I thought to myself “This is so dumb. WTF?” Then I began to involuntarily move my body back and forth and before I knew it, I was dancing! “Damn you, homosexuality!” I screamed at the ceiling. “Damn you all to hell!” You know a song is really gay when, despite its idiocy, you find yourself dancing your ass off to it.
Things You Have To Stop Doing Once You Get Into A Relationship
You can’t fart when you’re dating someone. Sometimes the relationship will actually just feel like one long held in fart since that’s all you’ll ever be doing. We spend 95% of our time in relationships with our butt cheeks clenched together, praying to G-O-D that one doesn’t escape.