Thought Catalog

I Want To Know You

  • 0

I want to know you. You seem like someone worth knowing. Every day I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard edges and sour faces but I get the sense that you’re different. Too often people seem to think that they have the answers to everything. Their faces are trapped in permascowls and they can’t be bothered with anything besides their own narcissism. You aren’t like that. You still ask questions. You’re still looking for the answers.

People with kind hearts make me feel dirty. Like I need to give my personality a bath or something. Rub it clean of my neuroses and judgments. But that’s a good thing. When someone inspires you to take a long hard look at yourself and question all of your bad habits, they’re someone worth keeping around. It’s all about finding that person who’s able to hold up a mirror to your life and cause you to reevaluate the noise. It’s all about wanting to be a better man.

I know you’ll surprise me. I know you’ll take a right turn when I’m convinced you’ll take a left. All of this may seem arbitrary (why does it even matter if you take a right instead of a left?) but it provides me with a giant sense of relief. Do you know what it feels like to go through life rarely being surprised? The person who you think is going to hurt you ends up leaving you alone at three in the morning. The person who will never understand your jokes or passions turns out to be a stranger forever. You sleep with them, go out to dinners, and even run away to a bed and breakfast on a long weekend, all in hopes that they’ll start to make sense to you one day. But they never do. They just get more and more foreign each day. Experiences don’t always breed intimacy. Sometimes they just make the distance more apparent.

I want to know how your weekend was (I never want to know these types of things but you’re the exception to all my rules) and I want to know how you got that scar on your knee (biking accident when you were twelve? Tell me more! This story is more riveting than The Hunger Games!) and I want to know about your mom and dad (Are they assholes? No matter! We’ll start our own family!) I want to protect you. I want to preserve your innocence and drink it up for myself. You learn from me and I’ll learn from you. Deal?

You’ll open me up like an orange, leaving a mess of pulp and sticky peels everywhere. Certain parts of my personality will be extracted and I’ll find myself feeling stuff I never knew was possible. It’s strange to think how many things we’re capable of without really knowing it until we have a proper catalyst — something or someone to bring it to the surface. Dig, dig, dig. No, you might need to dig a little deeper. I have a lot of crap sticking on top of the good stuff.

In order for all of this to work though, you have to let me know you. You have to let me cut you open and trust that I won’t accidentally hit a nerve. You have to accept me for my shortcomings and understand that you’re a better person than I am. I’m a little rotten. Please don’t let that deter you though. Because when I look at you, I see someone who makes sense. I see an anomaly — someone who’s untouched by all of the modern inventions and hang ups. I see someone I want to know. TC mark

image: Tela Chhe
Powered by Revcontent

Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Click to heal your heart

More From Thought Catalog

  • bro

    beeeeeeautiful

  • guest

    “When I look AT you” 

    • Guest

      I bet you’re the kind of person who only reads these articles so you can correct grammar and spelling mistakes…AKA, THE WORST KIND OF PERSON.

      • Nishant

        not defending anyone, but grammar nazis are simply the first of the trolls. certainly not the “worst kind of person”. relax. :) dont let it spoil a good article.

    • Jesus

      Piss off!

  • Guest

    You’ve been reading my brain and making beautiful words from it. 

    I love you

  • Anonymous

    YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KNOW ME, RYAN

    • Anonymous

      NOBODY EVER REALLY ‘KNOWS’ ANYONE

  • Anonymous

    love me some ‘Rules of Attraction’

  • Vishnu Venugopal

    This is beautiful. Love. Literally been trying to put someone like this into words. Perfect.

  • Rachel Weech

    My first thought was “wedding vow”!

  • Megan

    Love this.  This is how I want to feel when I meet the person I’m supposed to eventually be with- to have them be someone who inspires me to be better. 

  • Brittany

    Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/tannnyaya Tanya Salyers

    Love this, makes me want to make my relationship healthy, and tear down those pesky walls.

  • Maja

    Touching…and very true. 

  • Anonymous

    I hope he reads this someday.

    It would all make sense.

  • RG

    This is what I wanna say. 

  • http://mason-jar-memories.blogspot.com/ Grace Elizabeth

    “Every day I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard edges and sour faces but I get the sense that you’re different. Too often people seem to think that they have the answers to everything. Their faces are trapped in permascowls and they can’t be bothered with anything besides their own narcissism. You aren’t like that. You still ask questions. You’re still looking for the answers.” That right there is why I married my husband :) Beautiful article, I hope you get to know them.

  • Amanda

    “When someone inspires you to take a long hard look at yourself and question all of your bad habits, they’re someone worth keeping around.” Truth.

  • Kate.

    Oh, Ryan. Reading your pieces in the morning always makes me choose more exciting things for breakfast.

  • ANG

    This describes perfectly how I feel about a certain boy right now  and I am really happy that you articulated these feelings so well. These people are hard to come across, and for the first time in my life I am trying really hard to hold onto him.

    “I want to protect you. I want to preserve your innocence and drink it up for myself.” Love this!

  • Anikolas Ordorica

    the honesty in this is incredible. How often we waste our lives on people we hope will make sense to us one day…I hope the one I want to know realizes he is the one!

  • Anonymous

    Yes. Articulating these thoughts doesn’t come easily for most people, and I think you’ve done a great service by teasing out the words here.  So again, thank you.

  • Jesus

    Good job, Rye. This was cute.

  • Sophia

    “Experiences don’t always breed intimacy. Sometimes they just make the distance more apparent.” I can think of one really achy, really prominent example of this that I want to forget but is instead now playing in my head over and over. It’s so true.Anyway, this was incredible. Ryan, you are incredible at speaking truth.

  • Rachael

    This is so freaking beautiful. Beautiful!

  • http://twitter.com/ataraxistix S

    Dudeeeee :D

    • Guest

      Dundee

  • http://twitter.com/yvonne1503 yvonne

    “You sleep with them, go out to dinners, and even run away to a bed and
    breakfast on a long weekend, all in hopes that they’ll start to make
    sense to you one day. But they never do.”
    Been there done that too.

    • Guest

      Oh it’s the worst.

  • Mildred Bonk

    Ryan I want to know you!
    I wish I could describe how perfect this is. but everyone else is doing that.
    Im juts so impressed.

blog comments powered by Disqus