9 Ways To Make Your Life Less Boring
1. Get out of your damn comfort zone already! You know why your life is boring? It’s because YOU’RE BORING. Okay JK, maybe that was a little harsh but really, you need to stop being afraid of everything. It’s good to deviate from the norm and do things that make you poop your pants a little bit. Nothing risked, nothing gained, right? You’re too young to be this bored anyway. The last thing you want to feel when you’re older, besides arthritis, is regret.
2. Make sure to plan things with friends in advance so you have something to look forward to during the workweek. I always suck at this because, like everyone else, I pretend that I’m busy 24/7 and then when Friday or Saturday night rolls around, I’m like, “Wait, I guess I’m wide open. Will someone hang out with me?!” Of course, by then it’s too late! Everyone else planned ahead and is already at some vegan potluck or birthday party or burlesque show or whatever the fuck people our age do these days. Then I just feel sorry for myself and stay home eating Nutella out of a jar like the stupid cliche I was born to be! It’s always best to line up social activities if for the very least to avoid living out this sad scenario.
3. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that drinking will make your life more exciting unless, of course, your definition of exciting is making everything into a bigger boring mess than it already was and having to spend another day hungover in bed. This doesn’t really apply if you’re still in college though. College kids are determined to make things less boring when they’re drunk. They will literally put themselves in insane situations just so they can have something to discuss at brunch the next day.
4. Plan a weekend trip, especially in the winter when your life is 30% more awful because of the crappy weather. Gather your friends together, propose a sojourn, and actually follow through with it. Book the damn thing before you even have a chance to second guess yourself. Trust me, it will be worth it. Weekend trips are rarely a bust unless someone brings along their annoying significant other. Don’t let them do that.
5. Speaking of relationships, you should get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, silly! What’ve you been doing all of this time being single and alone?!! Obviously your life’s boring. You have no one to share it with, LOL! You’re so funny, geez. Go pick up a life partner now! I heard they’re giving them some away at the piercing pagoda at the mall.
6. Buy a new book and let yourself get lost in that shit. This past year, I’ve become paranoid that getting older will turn me into a moron (I’m convinced that instead of getting wrinkles on my face, I’m developing them on my brain) so I’ve been reading a new book once a week to keep the wheels turning. It doesn’t have to be a super smart book either. Like, I just read that Grace Coddington memoir and now I might read that bestseller everyone is buzzing about that I always see at airports, Gone Girl. I’ve always been an avid reader though. It’s my preferred way to pass the time.
7. Join a gym. If you’re going to be bored, you might as well be bored and in shape. Last week, I went to go meet a personal trainer because, um, I feel like my body is turning into a giant vat of mashed potatoes, and I’m pretty sure I lost ten pounds just by looking at a treadmill!
8. Start fun projects. This past weekend, I stumbled upon all of these old scrapbooks I used to make just for fun back in high school. Do you remember that? When we just used to collage for eight hours because we could? I miss that. I tried doing it again after I graduated college but I only managed to fill up four pages, one of which just had a postcard from Rhode Island and said, “Went to Rhode Island this weekend. It rained and I ate clams. I was happy.” UM, OKAY. GOOD JOB WITH CHRONICLING THAT MOMENT.
9. Drop your laptop in the bathtub and force yourself to go outside. It’s where most exciting things happen, or so I’ve heard.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’ve never liked you Justin. Never.
As a pedestrian in London, you don’t have the right of way. Which is always beneficial if you’re looking to get run over.
Here’s what “they” don’t want you to know: Man has evolved over TRILLIONS of years without technology. Now that we have it, it’s time to reverse the effects of evolution and start a revolution.
This above all: to thine own self be true. Polonius, Hamlet, Act I, Scene iii