Thought Catalog
October 8, 2013

30 Women On How To Tell If She’s Flirting Or Just Being Nice

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We’ve seen flirting discussed in several forms. Whether it be Good Flirting Vs. Bad Flirting: A Photo Guide, Just Because She Is Polite Doesn’t Mean She Is Flirting, 10 Ways Shy People Flirt, or If You Aren’t Sure If They’re Flirting With You, They’re Flirting With You (Unless They Aren’t), there’s been a lot of discussion about this topic. Still, as you’ll learn here there are many conflicting answers in regards to what’s considered flirting and how different people go about it. Just know that you may leave here even more confused about flirtation than you were when you entered.

1. tmarie32

Socially awkward lady here. If I have a crush on someone, I ignore the fuck out of them and act like they don’t exist when they’re around me, and spend the other hours of my day fantasizing about our life together. It’s not effective, don’t be me.
I don’t know if this is good advice or not, but talk to the girl that’s ignoring you. She might be a total bitch but she might actually have a huge crush on you and is just really socially awkward/shy and talking to her might be just the opening she needs.

2. perpetualdepravity

As a woman, I will tell you most women don’t notice men. If we’re going out of our way to pay attention to you, PROMPTING questions, not just answering them, giving you eyes, laughing at your jokes when they’re not that funny (lol), touching your arm, we have noticed you and we’re pretty much interested. Men compromise interest by not acting on these signals, and we get discouraged and move on in this initial stage of negotiating attraction quickly.

3. Gooperchickenface

See how she interacts around other guys. Versus you. I’m all jokey and friendly and normal with guy friends. But a guy I like? I get seriously tongue tied and quiet. While occasionally trying to make conversation and blurting out the stupidest things.

4. Stupidredditstuff

You can’t know.
I’m a woman and I don’t even know.
Trust me. All the women here are just generalizing.
Chemistry is Chemistry, it’s not a fkn cosmo article full of advice and neat tips and tricks.

5. Beanerette

As a girl, I’m going to be straight forward with you guys. Sometimes girls will flirt because it makes them feel awesome when someone likes them. They might not care that they don’t like you back but they will still flirt with you and get your poor man hopes up. Not all girls do this but plenty of them do. Definitely going to agree with previous comments. You seriously won’t know until you make your move. If she cancels on you (don’t try more than 2x) that’s when you know, she’s just not that into you. Bitches be runnin’ wild.