October 8, 2013

30 Women On How To Tell If She’s Flirting Or Just Being Nice

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We’ve seen flirting discussed in several forms. Whether it be Good Flirting Vs. Bad Flirting: A Photo Guide, Just Because She Is Polite Doesn’t Mean She Is Flirting, 10 Ways Shy People Flirt, or If You Aren’t Sure If They’re Flirting With You, They’re Flirting With You (Unless They Aren’t), there’s been a lot of discussion about this topic. Still, as you’ll learn here there are many conflicting answers in regards to what’s considered flirting and how different people go about it. Just know that you may leave here even more confused about flirtation than you were when you entered.

1. tmarie32

Socially awkward lady here. If I have a crush on someone, I ignore the fuck out of them and act like they don’t exist when they’re around me, and spend the other hours of my day fantasizing about our life together. It’s not effective, don’t be me.
I don’t know if this is good advice or not, but talk to the girl that’s ignoring you. She might be a total bitch but she might actually have a huge crush on you and is just really socially awkward/shy and talking to her might be just the opening she needs.

2. perpetualdepravity

As a woman, I will tell you most women don’t notice men. If we’re going out of our way to pay attention to you, PROMPTING questions, not just answering them, giving you eyes, laughing at your jokes when they’re not that funny (lol), touching your arm, we have noticed you and we’re pretty much interested. Men compromise interest by not acting on these signals, and we get discouraged and move on in this initial stage of negotiating attraction quickly.

3. Gooperchickenface

See how she interacts around other guys. Versus you. I’m all jokey and friendly and normal with guy friends. But a guy I like? I get seriously tongue tied and quiet. While occasionally trying to make conversation and blurting out the stupidest things.

4. Stupidredditstuff

You can’t know.
I’m a woman and I don’t even know.
Trust me. All the women here are just generalizing.
Chemistry is Chemistry, it’s not a fkn cosmo article full of advice and neat tips and tricks.

5. Beanerette

As a girl, I’m going to be straight forward with you guys. Sometimes girls will flirt because it makes them feel awesome when someone likes them. They might not care that they don’t like you back but they will still flirt with you and get your poor man hopes up. Not all girls do this but plenty of them do. Definitely going to agree with previous comments. You seriously won’t know until you make your move. If she cancels on you (don’t try more than 2x) that’s when you know, she’s just not that into you. Bitches be runnin’ wild.

6. plasticstatus

My “niceness” gets misconstrued all the time. I personally don’t feel that I am being flirtatious but it usually leads to a situation I prefer not to be in. Especially being in marketing (in a male driven industry), it’s my job to be nice and build working relationships. It definitely gets uncomfortable pretty often. I’ve always been a nice/sweet person to begin with, I usually back away from confrontation, and I hate when people are mad at/disappointed with me, so I can see how I can put myself in these situations. It really does suck that being nice and just simply showing some interest from one being to another gets so easily mistaken for flirtation, etc.

7. lobolita

For me (a woman), if I want to see you, I will make it happen. Straight up. You ask me out Friday and I’m actually busy, not just uninterested? I will suggest Saturday. You tell me your hobby and I wouldn’t mind tagging along? I’ll say: “ooh, I’ve always wanted to try LARPing, basket weaving, ammo reloading, whatever else.” When I met my SO, my phone didn’t register his number or something. Sounds convenient, right? Well, I had him look at my phone and gave him an email in the meantime. If I weren’t interested, the phone would have never worked again…
EDIT: His phone number didn’t work because I put in the wrong area code – his and mine are 1 digit off.

8. Egan93

Whenever I flirt with someone I like, I always catch myself with a stupid grin on my face long after they’ve walked away. Maybe steal a glance after the conversation is over, if she’s still smiling, she’s probably into you.

9. rawr_777

Pretend she is a man (assuming you are straight). If your interpretation of the interaction is unchanged, she’s being nice. If all of a sudden you feel uncomfortable, she is flirting. Point being, you probably already know whether or not she is flirting – people just have an unfortunate tendency to see what they want to see, and not what is actually happening.

10. notelizabeth

Touching!- Headbutts, Hugs, Soft Punches, Adjusting clothing or hair, piggy backs, arm wrestles grabbing and pulling are all sure fire signs you’re in. On the other hand the friend zone is that 5 foot no touching radius that she is maintaining.

11. ihasacookie

A big hint is when you ask her to hang out and she makes an excuse. A girl who really wants to spend time with you will suggest an alternative time!

12. espritdecorpse13

Touching! If the girl is touching you while she’s laughing at your jokes, or listening intently to your story, it’s because she’s interested.
I mean prolonged, blatant physical contact. Not “She gave me a high-five! Guess who wants the D?!”

13. TiniBot

This is tough. When I met my current boyfriend, I spent an hour at the bar talking with him and seeing as interested as I could, trying to be flirty. I still wasn’t sure if he got the hint until I took his hand and dragged him to the dance floor. I think he caught on then. I guess my advice is, if a girl seems to be giving you a lot of attention, especially if you are in a group of people, chances are she’s flirting with you.

14. holographic_universe

I can only speak for myself, but I’m friendly, very friendly with both sexes. I talk to people I first meet as if we’re old friends, I’m physically touchy and I make eye contact and smile at everyone.
But if I am romantically interested in you I WILL let you know immediately and bluntly.
So to me it depends on each woman’s personality. Some women will even act apathetic towards you and not make eye contact. But in a general sense I would say eye contact, smiling, and finding reasons to touch you.
If you’re interested in her and you’re interested in her then the only way to 100% know is to ask her. It is easier said than done, but the only person stopping you is you. Have more confidence in yourself and don’t take things so personally.

15. yourlocalmathlete

Honestly, politeness is so rare now people can mistake it for flirtation.
I’m pretty bad at conversation, but one thing that has always been correct when it comes to boys for me: if part of you accidentally touches the other person, and he/she doesn’t move, he or she likes you.
For example, if you sit at a table together and her legs are against yours, but she doesn’t seem bothered by it or move, she’s probably into you.
I think I’m just terrible. My boyfriend probably thought I had a speech issue or something like dyslexia when we met, because I get VERY nervous and jumble my words.

16. pdfko2

In my opinion, don’t worry about it and just assume she is flirting and go for it regardless. It will probably lead to more success that way, than mulling it over.

17. itactuallysucks

Eye contact. I tend to not keep eye contact unless I’m interested in you.

18. Chink-erella

I’m a girl, and everytime i like a boy i avoid eye contact. This is completely illogical but I feel like if we look into each others eyes he’d see that I like him and reject me before i could even attempt to make a move

19. Laurotica

Flirting: making serious eye contact, body is pointed towards you, making a real effort to have a conversation and get to know you better, maybe throwing in a compliment or two too. And if a woman touches you, if it’s either a hand on your arm or knees touching under the table, you’re in.

20. bee____

If she always tries to find moments to make physical contact or if she is shy, she will probably blush a lot around you. But a lot of girls if they’re confident will just downright tell you if they like you!

21. Viperbunny

Some men take any kindness as flirting. It isn’t. If she brings up the fact she has an SO, it’s to let you know she isn’t single. You would think this was obvious, but I have had a few guys not understand I was just being nice and having a conversation with them.

22. ChickyChica

HA! I don’t flirt…if I’m attracted to someone, I ignore them and avoid eye contact.
If not for online dating, I would be one sad, lonely woman.

23. OutcastedKilljoy

Acting seriously interested in your life. Trying to make intimate inside jokes. Hinting at/talking about their sex life. Not sure if anyone else does it but I tend to say a person’s name a lot more if I’m flirting with them.

24. waitingawhile

say you’re at a party, with a lot of guys and girls there. If she’s flirting with you, she’ll make every effort to talk to you, and just be near you. And if she’s not near you, you can bet she’ll be looking at you to know where you are. You might catch her eye. If she looks away really fast, or smiles, or blushes, she’s into you. If she casually looks away and doesn’t engage anymore, she’s probably not into you. If she’s talking to you and laughing/smiling a lot, she’s flirting. If she’s playing with her hair, she’s flirting. If she looks down a lot, she’s flirting.

25. CheeseHero

When I’m feeling flirty, or I’m around someone I find attractive, I touch my hair and earrings more, I tend to lick or bite at my lips (nervous habit), and I keep my body facing towards them.
I keep other guys at a distance by using phrases like “Seriously, dude” or “Come on, man.” If you hear those, you might’ve just been Bro-Zoned by a girl.

26. I_AM_NO_MAN_

I think generally we are pretty clear in our motives. For me, anyway, I have to make a concious effort to not “lead people one”. Meaning, if I’m not interested then I won’t be touching your arm or batting my eyelashes at you. I’m nice to everyone and have tons of male friends, and I think I make it pretty clear if I’m not interested.
If I am interested, I would go out of my way to be near that person. Sitting next to them in the car/train/couch, playing on their team if we’re playing beer pong or pool, inviting them to come watch TV with me or go smoke a joint! Paying them more attention than the others.
Honestly, if you notice a girl is not only responding to you, but keeping up the conversation with questions and a general interest, she is probably interested in you. If she’s touching your arm/hand or seems to be shimmying up next to you a lot, that’s a pretty clearcut signal.

27. gingerfer

Well, just the other day I went full third grader and said “[guy name], I like you. Do you like me back?” And the answer was “as a friend.”
So now I’ve said fuck the direct approach, it ends up more embarrassing than these stealthy female games.
She’s gonna play those games. If you act interested and she responds in kind, that’s the surest way of knowing.

28. ifboredomkills

She might be interested if…
She seems particularly reserved or shy, eye contact might be a good hint.
She asks your opinion more than others in a discussion
She’s slowly shifting closer to you but avoiding direct contact
These are true for me, I cannot speak for the rest of my sex.

29. GlitteryUnicornShits

If we like you we’re flirting, if you’re just a friend, we’re just being friendly. But really. I’m a girl, and I’ve accidentally almost had girls try to come home with me a few times now because I thought I had just made new friends for the night (I’m into guys, so I’m apparently also a bit dense about being on the receiving end of girl flirts). There’s no solve all answer, but sometimes when playing with our hair, inviting you to anything (or fishing to get ourselves invited), or being extra touchy are more likely to be flirting.

30. actual-cannibal-dina

If a woman is being nice, there’s a high chance she’s not flirting. I give guys so much shit if I’m flirting. TC Mark

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