“Aliens abducting me and filling my intestines with eggs that’ll kill me when they hatch.”
“‘Your brother is better in bed.’ She’d been cheating on me. Yes, with him.”
“There is something evil in her that can never be fixed.”
“Boys make excuses. Men take responsibility.”
Found on AskReddit. 1. Fucking one whole aisle of just cereal in the supermarket? “Fucking 1 whole aisle of just cereal in the Netherlands we just have like 8 choices.” —martijnvel 2. So many squirrels!
“She came home blacked out from a night of partying and took a sh*t in the bathroom sink.”
“Scars. Not self-harm scars, just ‘I was stabbed once’ scars.”
“He told me I was gorgeous—and that I looked exactly like his sister.”
“It’s like having a parasite that sucks blood from your brain, causing you to make really bad decisions.”
Found on AskReddit. 1. Mirrors in the dark. “Mirrors in the dark. ‘Bloody Mary’ stories really scared me. I still get uncomfortable when I get up from bed to go pee.” —kobachi 2.