Thought Catalog
January 6, 2017

The Moment You Find The Courage To Let Go, You’ll Realize You Were The Only One Holding On

Report This Article
What is the issue?
 ADAM BARABAS
ADAM BARABAS

You know that one person you can’t imagine life without? Maybe it’s a relationship or some hookup. Maybe you love them, truly from the bottom of your heart. The one person you turn to for everything. The one person you would, absolutely, without a doubt, do anything for. The one person you talk to every day. The one person who really knows you better than anyone.

The very same person you don’t see as toxic.

Often times, this one person you hold in such high regards and put on this pedestal, the person who has become a habit you can’t break is only in your life because you’re making such an effort to put them there.

It’s every first text or snap or tag or story, where it’s you initiating contact. It’s you making the effort of 80% while thinking their 20% is worth it. It’s you going above and beyond then idolizing them for receiving it.

And with enough time and effort, you really do get to know one another but it tarnishes you in such a way because you put someone who isn’t worth it above people who are.

I know it becomes difficult to let someone go when you’ve invested so much time and effort and emotions into them already. But sometimes the people you think you can’t live without are the same ones you need to.

I want you to imagine this person in your life. I want you to think can I go a day without talking to them? Can I go a week? What about a month? And would they let me? If I did, would I even hear from them? Would they notice my absence?

I don’t think they would because you value them more than they value you.

The reason you’re going to say no to letting them go is because they’ve become a habit of yours, you don’t think you can break. You’ve convinced yourself you need this person. You actually think you can’t live without them.

And maybe you’ve gone days and weeks in the past without them. But then you crack. It’s just one text. It’s just a simple snap. But toxic people are like bad habits and before you know it, you’re hooked.

There are two factors here, someone you’re kind of addicted to and their inability to be what you need in a healthy relationship.

But if you were to stop trying so hard, if you weren’t to call or text them, if you pulled back on the effort and let go, what you would realize is it was only you holding on this whole time.

Imagine it like this. You’re falling and you’re holding their hand for dear life so you don’t. But then you let go. With these types of people, you’ll find yourself falling fast because they weren’t holding onto you, it was only you making the effort.

I challenge you to let go of everyone in your life and only reach again to those people who are still holding on and not letting you fall.

Value those people who don’t let go. The people who meet you half way and are holding onto you as tightly as you hold them. Because healthy relationships are a 50/50 thing.

The difference between those people and this one relationship, exerting so much of your energy is they don’t need you as much as you think you need them. But what you have to realize is you don’t need them either. The only people you need in your life are the ones who prove they need you in theirs. And they haven’t proved anything to you. They’ve only reaped the benefits of your noble effort of trying too hard.

Let them really know what it’s like to live without you.

The people who want to be in your life will be. Those people will come without any effort. You’ll attract them in doing your own thing, in making yourself happy, in learning the only person you need is you.

Don’t give someone else the love you should be giving yourself.

When you learn to let go of the wrong people what happens is the right people come into your life and stay. As for those others, you’ll realize they were already gone a long time ago, you just didn’t want to accept it. TC mark