I just wanted to start out by saying that it’s really great that you have so many feelings. Feelings are really important. And you, Brian, have a lot of them. Like, a lot.
We Made Eye Contact On The Subway And I Immediately Imagined Our Future Together (We Move To The Suburbs And Have Three Beautiful Kids)
Dan: “Oh, you write? That must be nice. Have you ever heard of Deutsche Bank though?”
Liz: “You write? Fantastic. What’s your last name? I’m going to read everything you’ve ever published right now in line for the bathroom.”
I like to be the big spoon sometimes because I secretly think about how vulnerable the other person is.
It’s a dangerous mindset to be made part of. And it’s everywhere.
How lucky are you to have finally found a creature as whimsical as I?
Look, I get it. I’m sooooo bad at texting (what does that even mean, why is that a thing people say?) and so I understand why it’s taken you this long to answer me (I don’t understand, your phone is glued to your face).
I’m only able to consistently tolerate, like, 3-4 people. In total. None of them are family members. Two of them are dogs.