Thought Catalog
January 19, 2017

If You’re Unhappy In Your Relationship — Leave

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Thought.Is
Thought.Is

I’m sick of hearing about people’s relationship problems. I’m completely over listening to complaints about how unhappy they are and how their significant other isn’t doing this or that. I’m really, really over it.

To put it frankly, I don’t give a shit about your relationship problems if you aren’t going to do anything to make a change.

If you’re going to stay with someone who does nothing but piss you off more than makes you happy, that’s your fault. If you’re going to stay with someone who puts their friends before you, that’s your fault. If you’re going to stay with someone who doesn’t ever make an effort anymore, that’s your fault.

It’s no one else’s fault but yours.

It’s harsh, I know, but when you really put it into prospective the reason you’re so unhappy is because you’re allowing yourself to be treated that way because in your mind you’ve convinced yourself it’s better to be with them than to be alone. You tell yourself it’s better to suffer through each day, just hoping you don’t fight than it is to end things for good and walk away.

You can continue to base your relationship on the one good thing your significant other does once a day or maybe a week. You can continue to base your relationship off the “way things used to be” but the way things used to be aren’t the way they are anymore. People change, feelings change, relationships change and sometimes you have to know when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to know when it’s time to call it quits, when it’s time to acknowledge what you had but realize your relationship has run its course.

You can’t blame anyone else for your unhappy relationship besides yourself for staying in it. It’s hard as hell to walk away from someone you imagined spending forever with, it’s really hard. But are you going to let that imagine you imagined in your head dictate how you feel the rest of your life? Are you going to allow that to convince you to stay in your unhappy relationship?

I hope not.

Because you can’t change the fact that someone feels a certain way, you can’t change the comfort people develop and you can’t change feelings. You can’t force someone to love you when they stop showing you the affection they used to. The only thing that will happen when you push harder is that they will pull further away.

Sometimes you just can’t fix all the broken pieces, no matter how much you want to save them. Sometimes things are too crushed and damaged to be put back together.

You just can’t fix everything that’s broken, as heart breaking as that is to accept.

And since I’m being honest, you don’t deserve a relationship that’s broken or has fallen into pure comfort. You deserve someone who still looks at you like you’re the center of the universe, even after years together. You don’t deserve someone who quits when things get tough, someone who calls you names and degrades you. You don’t deserve someone who puts other people in front of you when you’re supposed to be the center of their world. You don’t deserve any of that.

You deserve to be the most important person to someone, but you can’t ever feel that if you don’t walk away from the shitty relationship you’re in.

You can do better, don’t think the world will crumble and burn when you walk away. It might feel like that, but it will get better. You will get a little bit stronger every day without them. It might take weeks or months or years, but eventually you will be able to look back on your time with them and it won’t hurt as bad. But in order to get to a place of happiness again you need to walk away. You need to be able to find the happiness on your own terms, within yourself. TC mark