Sometimes I find myself not feeling like I’m good enough.
I don’t think of myself as “dateable.” I don’t think someone else could proudly walk with me by their side because I have my own insecurities I’m working on combating every day.
Sometimes I let these thoughts consume me and destroy me, but I know they aren’t true and they aren’t healthy. But the major difference is that it’s so much easier to think negatively than repeat positive thoughts you don’t believe inside your head.
Sometimes I think I’m not a good enough friend or a good enough worker, and part of me always feels like there’s more I could be doing.
Sometimes I wonder what people see in me – the people who hang around me, anyway.
Thinking this way can be so unbelievably toxic, it feeds insecurities and is mentally abusive and draining.
I’ve found these insecurities being part of the reason I’m still single. I don’t see how someone could like me so I push others away before they have the chance to leave me on their own. I guard myself because of it, in my mind it’s easier to just be the one to end it before they can, before they find out all my flaws.
It’s a horrible, horrible cycle that I’m working on every day because I am enough, just the way I am.
I am enough without losing weight, I am enough without being shorter, I am enough without being tanner or prettier. I am enough without being funnier, smarter and more together.
I am enough just the way I am and I know that now because I’m happy the way I am.
I am enough, even though I’m not her. The her we all compare ourselves to, even subconsciously.
I have doubts that run through my mind, sometimes I see my reflection and I cringe but then I remind myself how much I enjoy my life. I realize that I do like exercising, but I also love eating. I realize that I am happy with the balance of my life, but I could do a little more yoga and consume a little less ice cream. I remind myself I just have to continue to find the balance I need. I realize that I’m working towards the person I want to be every day.
I realize the thoughts that I have running through my head aren’t the thoughts that everyone I pass has in their head. I realize that the people I love in my life love me despite of everything I beat myself up over. I realize that I don’t need to be more or less of anything in order to feel loved.
I realize I need to stop assuming and creating problems that don’t exist. I need to just go with the flow because insecurities are evil and they consume you. Insecurities drive people away because they tend to help you push people away.
The truth is you don’t need to win over everyone’s approval and the other half of that truth is it’s not even possible to do so. You can’t make everyone like you and everyone won’t like you, and you also won’t like everyone you meet.
You don’t need to seek outside approval from everyone and you shouldn’t try.
Work on ending the insecurities than run through your head every day, work on you and only you. Inhale fresh new thoughts and let the bad ones go. Don’t continue to go to war with yourself, it’s time to start loving you for you because you owe that to yourself.
You don’t need to be more or less of anything to be good enough, because you already are enough – just the way you are.