I really thought that you were the one for me, and I loved the feeling of being yours, even if it was only for a short while. Everything with you was perfect – the way we naturally clicked, how easy everything came around you, how free and safe I felt with you. When we were together I forgot all the troubles going on in my life at the time, and when it came to the troubles that I couldn’t shake, you were there for me and helped me through. I really did fall hard for you, even though I didn’t mean to fall as hard as I did. The last thing I want to do is let go and stop trying to win you back, but for the sake of my own sanity I need to.
I’d also like to thank you for the life lessons that you taught me. Whether you know it or not I learned a lot from you. The most important things that I learned were self-respect and self-worth. I finally got it into my head that I need to have enough respect for myself to know when to collect myself and let go and stop chasing something that will never happen. I had no respect for myself and looked like a fool sitting around begging and hoping for you to take me back and to repair what we had. On top of self-respect you helped me find and bring my self-worth to light. I’m worth more than unanswered texts, sleepless nights spent hoping for that once in a blue moon text that you send in the middle of the night, praying that it would be the conversation that fixes us. I’m worth more than sitting around waiting for you to come back to tell me that you want to try again. I’m worth more than walking around in a daze, crying when nobody is around or in the shower where I can’t be heard. I’m worth more than all of that.
Thank you for making me realize that trying to water a dead flower isn’t going to bring it back to life.
Thank you for showing me that one-way attempts at fixing something only results in that person getting hurt even more in the end. Thank you for hurting me. The healing process obviously hurts and it isn’t something that heals overnight. But in time it’ll heal and I’ll be stronger than before. Thank you for showing me that bending over backwards for someone isn’t always enough to keep them around, that people will leave if that’s what they want, no matter what you do.
Lastly I want to thank you for letting me go and be on my own. I’ll use this time to repair myself and better myself, not for you, not for another man, but for myself. On top of me thanking you, one day another man is going to thank you for letting me go, because if you didn’t, and stayed in an unwanted relationship, he would have never had the chance to find me. He would never have the opportunity to see my worth and not let a day go by where he doesn’t remind me of it and how much he cherishes me. Obviously I will always miss you and you will always have a piece of my heart, but as you said, I’m only a distraction to your goals. After all of this, I don’t hate you; I could never hate you. I want us to be civil and want to see you succeed, to move on with your life as I’m doing with mine. Will we ever cross paths again years from now down the road? I’m not holding my breath anymore, but I wish you the best of luck in everything you do. And I really do hope that you find happiness and whatever it is that you’re looking for. So this is goodbye, and good luck.