5. She threw the cat at me. A cat. She threw a fucking cat at me.
“I left for work at 6am and forgot to unplug the toaster. When I arrived home at 6pm, I was given the “everything you’ve ever done to piss me off speech” just for leaving the toaster plugged in. I asked her what she did all day that prevented her from unplugging it herself. Another “I’m an asshole” speech. I said something to the effect of quit acting like your fucking mother. She threw the cat at me. A cat. She threw a fucking cat at me.”