It Sucks To Be A Man: 66 Guys Explain Why

65. We can be easily destroyed by a psycho ex.

“How easy it is to be destroyed when a relationship with a psycho is cut off.
I was in the 8th grade when I dated a girl who, in the span of about 8 months, made up a false rape story where she was raped by a boy she met online, claimed she had sex with a boy who died of cancer and might be pregnant with his kid, and that I only wanted her for her body (she was a 7/10, was desperate for love).

When I finally decided to break up with her, she threatened to kill herself. The next school year she started telling my new friends that I’d raped her although we never had sexual contact. I rubbed her pants once at her request.
She then tried to claim I was physically abusive to her during our relationship and that I emotionally abused her after SHE broke up with ME, although I cut all ties with her after we broke up.

Two friends of mine also dated that year, and the girl in the relationship broke up with him for being emotionally abusive (with chat logs to back it up). He blamed me for the breakup and had his new girlfriend scream ‘RAPE!’ at me in the hallways for the entire semester whenever she passed me.”

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66. We are shamed for being virgins.

“‘Virgin’ is used as an insult against us, to dehumanize us and make us seem worthless. Just like with jobs, many women don’t want an inexperienced man, which leads to the catch 22 where you’re caught in an endless cycle of rejection. The weight of the V-card is a burden I bear every day from society’s expectations. I don’t want to lose it to a prostitute or a hookup, but I don’t want it to weigh me down for another 10 years. The longer I wait, the heavier it gets, the larger the stigma becomes.”

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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