1. All of your clothes match.
You can mix and match wildly different textures without looking like a disaster.
2. You can be a slob.
MAJOR. KEY. Black don’t crack/stain/deteriorate.
3. Basically all your looks are ~day to night.~
When you’re not wearing any gross, distracting florals or pastels, it’s easy to take your getup from the office to THA CLUB.
4. You’re naturally intimidating.
Nothing jars basic bitches like a queen in all black.
5. Your look always makes a quiet (but important) statement.
How to command a room: Don’t be another tragically unoriginal girl in a fluorescent, busy print.
6. Any color you wear ~pops.~
Apply a burgundy lip, and boom. You’ve gone from Zero to Coco Fucking Chanel in no time.
7. And your accessories always stand out.
Even a simple pair of gold hoops shine against your monotone ensemble.
8. You can wake up a little later than everyone else.
Getting dressed isn’t a time suck when you have one color (and endless outfit combinations) to choose from.
9. You can get away with doing laundry a lot less frequently.
Chicness meets water conservation. You’re a regular humanitarian.
10. …And when you do it, you don’t have to separate your loads.
Your clothes will never be totaled/dyed pink by a menacing red sock.
11.You’re free to shvitz.
Sweaty armpits/underboob ain’t no thang. Your wardrobe provides ample camo.
12. People assume you’re chic.
Which you are. Because all black reeks sexy sophistication, le duh.
13. Your outfit is always slimming.
Black is flattering. The end.
14. And you never go out of style.
Because black is timeless, baby.
15. When people gift you clothing, they rarely fuck up.
There’s no picking the wrong color when everyone knows you only wear black.
16. You stay warm.
Black attracts the sun’s warm rays, so you stay toastier than most.
17. You only have to own one pair of leggings.
If you’re always in black, no one will notice. ;)