Imagine my surprise when I find out that the Wineville Chicken Coop Murders ACTUALLY HAPPENED. This inspired me to dive down the proverbial rabbit hole and find a few more grotesque serial killers hiding in the shadows of history. Let’s begin with…
Disoriented, confused, we build our own narrative to fill in the missing pieces, to create our own ending, to get the closure we need.
It was definitely illegal and ridiculously dangerous, but things worked out—for exactly one week.
Learning to forgive and forget through being total mean girls to each other but getting over it quickly, no matter how serious the crime.
I am riding a hill slower than you would like me to. I am taking a second to gain momentum at the stop sign. I am doing all of this on purpose, to make you hit me, so you will be late again and it will be my fault.
Get weird: Any man worth your time will be wowed by your individuality and self-confidence rather than intimidated by it.
Among the ladies, there’s an ongoing popular web joke which really confuses me: “Drake wouldn’t treat me like this.” Which is a wild thing to say because, well, have you heard any of his lyrics? Drake is almost definitely worse than the fuck boy you’re messing around with right now. Don’t believe me?
I felt the presence of a new weight introduce itself to the foot of the bed. The dark and the adrenaline of shock and blush clouded my vision, but I could see a presence approach me from the foot of the bed.
Having company in the form of Clippy from Microsoft Word while you wrote a 5 paragraph essay on your “favorite summer memory.” And then getting super annoyed because Clippy would never shut the fuck up.
We put each other through our worst because we are willing to try to make the love we have last. But sometimes, it’s just not possible. If you’re losing yourself than maybe you’re not meant to be with each other.
When you’re apart, your partner is still with you in some way, a sort of lovable yet intangible phantom limb.
If you suggest watching television while eating, they’ll think you’re about as evolved as a caveman.
They are fantastic, beautiful, successful, funny, what have you. But they aren’t doing it for you. There is still that “but” that is keeping you from sealing the deal.
