It would be so easy for me to hate you. To talk about you and try to fight you anytime I see you, considering everyone I know wants to anyway. I could get in your face, show up at any time and be aggressive and mean and throw insults at you left and right. But that wouldn’t be me.
To hate you would require me to give up my loving heart; to let any hatred into my life would only bring me more pain in the end, and I don’t have it in me to bring negativity into the world.
I want to bring positivity and love into this world. I want to bring light into the darkness for everyone, not just those who have done so for me. I want to spread love and lift up other women around me. And as uncomfortable as it makes me, you’ll forever be around me now.
What happened was wrong. But I can’t blame you for that. You didn’t have a commitment to me, he did. You didn’t promise me a future and a family, he did. Despite what you knew about our relationship, it is not your fault.
I know writing this will not make you care, so I won’t try to explain my hurt. You know how I felt; you know the heartbreak I went through. I don’t have to tell you because you know what it feels like to lose someone you loved. You’ve experienced more hurt than you should have to endure by this age. Which is why I know hating you will get me nowhere.
I won’t be the one to cause more hurt in your life. I want to help you heal, I want to give you a safe space if you ever need one, I want you to never feel as low as you once have or as low as I felt.
Truth is I see a lot of me in you. Not just because we stupidly fell in love with the same man at the worst time, either. You see, months ago I wrote another article for this same website, titled An Open Letter From The Other Woman, expressing my guilt and apologies to the woman he was dating when he cheated on her with me. Maybe you can’t relate to that article completely, maybe you don’t feel bad for what I went through, but we did the same thing. We both allowed him to have such a hold on us that we forgot about the woman he had at home, who he was making promises to. He obviously has a pattern, but I hope and I pray he breaks that for you.
I am not in love with him anymore. I knew for sure I was over him when I didn’t feel the sting of heartbreak when I saw your posts with him. I felt at peace. But please understand I will always care about him. I still ask our friends about him to know he’s doing okay, because I know the struggles he’s gone through and is going through still. It does not mean I want back into his life, or I’m trying to get back together with him. It simply means my heart cannot stand the thought of him not being okay.
So I won’t hate him, and I won’t hate you, I won’t allow myself to be hurt by either of you again. I’ll love you both in any way you’ll let me. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m available. If you need a ride, call me. Anytime you need a friend, just know I’m here if you’ll allow me.
If not, I’ll love you from a distance. I’ll root for you and hope he never does to you what he’s done to every girl that’s paved the way for you. I’ll hope that if you do trust him like so many of us have, he never gives you a reason not to.
I wish only the best for you both.