Ranking The Zodiac Signs By How Likely They Are To Get Laid This Weekend

1. Aries

I mean, yeah. Obviously, Aries is the most likely. They’re passionate, headstrong, and they know what they want.

2. Scorpio

Irresistible Scorpio will definitely be getting some this weekend.

3. Leo

Around a 97% chance of getting laid.

4. Taurus

Pretty likely, but might come on too strong and ruin everything.

For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new.
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For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new.

How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on.

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5. Virgo

Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how clean the person’s bathroom is.

6. Libra

50/50 chance.

7. Gemini

Because Geminis can never make up their damn minds, sometimes it’s hard for them to pursue someone or be pursued. There’s a chance sex is in their future but they might also just decide they hate everyone.

8. Sagittarius

Sagittariuses don’t really give a shit. If they want to get laid, they will, but they also won’t go out of their way unless they really want to.

9. Cancer

Most likely will be in bed by 9 p.m. every night, so low likelihood.

10. Pisces

Will try and be flirtatious and sexy but then will overthink everything and ruin their shot. Some might find the neuroses hot so there is still a slight chance but most will not.

11. Aquarius

Will most likely stay in and read a book, so highly unlikely.

12. Capricorn

HAHAHAHHAA. Nah. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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