Our love happened because we didn’t adjust our feelings based on what we thought the other person felt. I didn’t act less interested in you because I felt that you weren’t that interested in me. It wasn’t like that at all.
I let you know that I thought you were special. I let you know that I really liked the person that you were, the person you showed me you were, even though I hadn’t known you for all that long. And even though I was scared to tell you these things, even though I was terrified to let someone know I actually liked them, actually could see myself potentially being in a real relationship with them, my heart had been broken so many times that I figured, what do I have to lose?
So I went for it. I didn’t just fall for you, I jumped. I leapt, dove, voluntarily stepped off a metaphorical edge where I could metaphorically plummet to yet another heartbreak, and I am so glad I did.
I am so glad I didn’t pretend to like you any less than I actually did. I am so glad I didn’t hide the fact that you gave me a kind of smile I didn’t think I’d ever feel again. The kind of smile that makes you hope maybe there’s someone out there who you can give love to that won’t just up and leave. I am so glad that I was honest with myself, and with you. And I am so glad you gave me that same kindness in return.
Honesty took the place of pretending, and finally love took the place of any almost that ever happened. Because we almost could’ve missed out on this very special thing that we’ve both found. We almost could’ve pretended to not be interested, played hard to get. We could’ve been another almost. But we weren’t. I didn’t almost let love go, and you didn’t either.
I’d like to think that our love was fate, or meant to be, and I really have no way of knowing, but I do know that our love happened because we both made it happen. Because we didn’t play games built on fear or uncertainty. We didn’t pretend either.
Our love happened when fear left the room. Our love happened when we both stopped being so afraid of our own feelings, and just expressed them. Our love happened when you said, ‘I love you,’ just because you felt it, because it felt right and because it felt wrong to hold that back, to hold it in.
We let it out, we set our love free from the cages that everyone else tries so hard to keep locked. I did it because I knew how much you meant to me. I did it because I loved the way my life felt with you in it. And I think you did it for the same reasons. I think you jumped with me. We both jumped together.