Nico Lang

Fact: I only have Twitter just to follow Mindy Kaling.

4. Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive. Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.

Michael Cunningham, marry me. Seriously.

On the plus side, Apple Martin won’t have the dumbest name at the playdate anymore.

I don’t know how this movie passed through the censorship boards, but I’m glad it did. It’s perfect. Just don’t drink Starbucks afterward.

36. “Only time can heal his heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” – Miss Piggy

If you like Antonio Banderas or Benjamin Bratt, you’ll fall in love with Fidel Castro, Cuba’s sexiest paranoid psychopath. My theoretical hymen just broke talking about him.

“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” – Bill Cosby

Do you also have a problem? If these following points sound like you, you may be an addict. But don’t worry. There’s a group for it. On Wednesdays we wear lace.

16. Evidence also indicates that we may have had our first bisexual or lesbian first lady.

13. You need to spend time apart, or you will get sick of each other.

3. Pretending to be “normal.”

At the time of his death in 1940, Fitzgerald claimed to have made just $4,000 off the novel.

14. “All generalizations are false, including this one.”

4. How often you date.

But guess who ranked at the bottom? America’s “least trusted” actress is Kristen Stewart, who also placed second on Star’s “Most Hated Celebrity” list.

2. Ramen Noodles, while cheap, is incredibly high in sodium and cannot possibly take the place of nutrition in one’s diet.

“I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.”