13 Women Describe What Their Boyfriend’s Penis Tastes Like

damerogue
Twenty20, damerogue

1. Sausages

“It seems too good to be true, but there’s definitely a hint of crispy grilled sausage to my boyfriend’s penis. I’ve always been a whore for delicious breakfast foods, so I plant my face in his crotch every chance I get. He thinks I’m a goddess of a girlfriend, obviously.”

— Jessica, 23

beetlejuice

2. Medicine and rain

“During the first three months of dating, whenever I went down on my boyfriend I would get a flashback to the summer when I was thirteen and I got really sick and had to take this weird medicine because he tasted like a slightly watered down version of it. If I hadn’t figured out that it was the soap he was using and replaced it immediately, we probably wouldn’t be together anymore. Now he tastes like rain and it’s amazing.”

— Maddie, 20

beetlejuice

3. Gerbils

“Every time I lick my boyfriend’s balls, I think of the three gerbils I owned as a kid until they escaped one night. My man tastes just like my pets’ cage smelled and you might think that would turn me off but it totally doesn’t. I must be in love, right?”

— Sandra, 21

beetlejuice

4. A juicy plum

“My boyfriend doesn’t eat fruit, but his penis tastes distinctly like a ripened plum. When he comes, it’s like I’m swallowing a sample shot of a protein shake with just a bit of fruit flavoring. I’ve tongued a lot of cocks in my day, so I know firsthand that it could be a lot worse. I should really hold onto this one, huh.”

— Emma, 23

beetlejuice

5. Armpits

“I once licked my best friend’s armpit on a dare in middle school and that’s what my current boyfriend’s penis tastes like. As you can imagine, I’m not the biggest fan of giving him head. Not sure how long our relationship will last if I don’t find a way to stop myself from dry heaving after every time I mouth his dick. Maybe there’s some kind of genital deodorant out there…”

— Kayley, 21

beetlejuice

6. The gym

“I’m in a relationship with a star athlete at school and his balls are always a little sweaty, even right after he showers. If I sniff my hand after I’ve been rubbing his junk, it smells exactly like it tastes: part gym and part locker room with a dash of damp, sweaty towel. Hot.”

— Natasha, 20

beetlejuice

7. Grass clippings

You know that smell that lingers in the air on a hot summer day after the lawn gets moved? That’s what penis tastes like to me. I’ve only had one serious boyfriend so my experience is limited, but I can honestly say I like sucking dick as much as I like a tall glass of lemonade, or a strawberry popsicle.

— Cate, 25

beetlejuice

8. Feet

“My boyfriend is a clean person. He actually showers twice a day, which is more than I can say for myself. But his package tastes like dirty feet. Still deciding how to tackle this one. For the first time in my life, I understand why people ghost.”

— Mary, 34

beetlejuice

9. A barn

“I live in a major West Coast city but I grew up on a farm and my boyfriend’s penis tastes exactly like a barn. It’s kind of nice because oral reminds me so much of home. There’s no place like penis, I guess you could say!”

— Pamela, 28

beetlejuice

10. My favorite spicy chicken salad

“I’m obsessed with this spicy Thai chicken salad they make at the deli down the street and sometimes I have to wonder if I fell for my boyfriend purely because his penis tastes exactly like it. I mean, yum. The only downside is that I have to remind myself not to bite while I’m down there.”

— Tatiana, 26

beetlejuice

11. Cologne

“I have this theory that my boyfriend spritzes his junk with cologne before we meet up because his penis tastes faintly of Polo Sport. A kind gesture, if you think about it, but I’d much rather deal with a non-perfumed cock. Once we hit the six month mark I’m going to have to say something ’cause this shit can’t go on.”

— Leandra, 27

beetlejuice

12. My grandparents’ attic

“There’s a very specific musty smell to my boyfriend’s groin area that evokes my grandparents’ attic without fail. I told him this the other day and we both decided never to talk about it again. I can either get past it, or break up with him. Torn.”

— Fabian, 24

beetlejuice

13. My elbow crease

“Sometimes I take a whiff of my elbow crease on the sly midday because it smells exactly like my boyfriend tastes. Weird, but true. If I’m quick enough and no one’s looking, I’ll lick myself there too.”

— Rory, 25 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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