Madison Moore

30. Carry a bag from a designer store as your everyday tote. I know your lunch is not from Yves Saint Laurent because those people don’t eat, so I don’t know why you just pulled a salad up out of that bitch.

3. There are a number of photos of you on the Internet doing “sexy” poses in skimpy outfits that are perhaps two to three sizes too small. In the photos you pose on top cars, in kitchens, bathrooms, door frames, etc.

“I’m thowin’ on my Louboutins.” Jennifer Lopez, “Louboutins.”

I know you were born with a vagina and everything, and so you think that’s enough to make you a woman. But guess what? No it’s not!

20. Hitting on the hot 20 something without being the creepy old daddy nobody wants to talk to.

People sometimes cut their ex’s out of their lives, even when they’ve been together for years. And that’s probably the key reason your best friend is your soul mate. For the most part he or she is not going to break up with you.

Undergrad is really just one big weekend stretched out over 4 to 6 years, depending on how many tests you make it to between the tequila shots.

Milk products that come from basically anyplace but cows. That’s pretty bougie. I’m talking rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk. Why isn’t regular milk good enough for people anymore!