Madison Moore

Milk products that come from basically anyplace but cows. That’s pretty bougie. I’m talking rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk. Why isn’t regular milk good enough for people anymore!

As much as I love being out and wearing ridiculous things, I don’t go out of my way to approach new people or to try to make new friends, and I’m always envious of people who are able to do that.

I know we met on Grindr and all, but can you at least wait until the date is over before you open it back up? Sheesh.

My face was buried deep in the pillow and I remember praising the lord and clinching the sheets, which of course only made him go at it even more. When it was over I was like, “WAIT WHY DID YOU STOP??!!”

Whenever I’m in a drinking situation and somebody new finds out that I generally stay away from alcohol, the first thing they do is tilt their head, furrow their brows and look at me like I’m some kind of unrecognizable foreign object. “You don’t…drink?”

It’s called the Flextuality test, and in a little under 15 minutes you can finally pinpoint your real sexual orientation once and for all. Take the test and you’ll see that there’s basically a range of twelve sexual types, starting with the “heteroflexibles” and the “supersexuals” ending with the last, very vanilla label of “straight.”