If you’re not getting rimmed, your sex life is kind of incomplete. Getting your tail licked is an awesome feeling, much better than getting a mani/pedi. It’s a feeling that might make you a little squeamish at first, but once you loosen up and hand over that pink flower, there’s just nooo going back.
I’d never heard about rim jobs until well into my adult sex life. The first time a boyfriend asked if he could “lick” me I thought it was so WEIRD. I was only 22 and living in France, so I automatically thought licking butts was just some kind of kinky thing French guys did. The point of studying abroad is to have close contact with people in your host country, soo if I let him go down on me and I’m supposed to be over here learning French customs, it’s kind of a cultural exchange.
The second the French guy put his tongue on my anus it felt slippery and warm and pokey and wrong. Actually, it didn’t feel like anything, so I wondered if something was wrong with me, like maybe I was missing some nerve endings down there. A few more minutes into it, though, I had a sexual blackout. My face was buried deep in the pillow and I remember praising the lord and clenching the sheets, which of course only made him go at it even more. When it was over I was like, “WAIT WHY DID YOU STOP??!!”
Even though the butt holds plenty of G-Spot fun for everybody, there’s such stigma around the backside as a no-go zone that the mere thought of licking somebody else’s hole is an instant turn off for some. Heaven forbid you’re the one in the relationship who loves getting rimmed, or who loves giving rim jobs, and you’ve never come out about your oral fixations. Now you have to deal with the fear of rejection and embarrassment. You want to lick my WHAT? I mean, why would you lick an ass? We already know what to do with P’s and V’s because they go where they’re supposed to go. But butts are taboo, off-limits, and that’s what make rim jobs so exciting. Dogs say “hello” by sniffing each other’s butts, so why shouldn’t we?
Rim jobs aren’t just a gay thing. Gay guys are rimming each other, sure, but girlfriends are rimming girlfriends, boyfriends are rimming girlfriends, and girlfriends are rimming boyfriends. Raise those asses up high, people! The fun part of human sexuality is discovering new things as we get older and gain more experience. Otherwise, it’s just the same old in-and-out-in-and-out for the rest of our lives — and wouldn’t that be boring?
Curious about doing a rim job on somebody? I have two key words for you: Wash it! Wash it! Wash it! The fear of a poopy backside has a lot to do with why people hesitate to take their sex lives all the way there. But see, all you have to do is hop in the shower and scrub that pink clean, maybe with some artisanal shower gel that has a hint Jojoba oil if you feel the need to add a classy touch.
If there’s one thing about getting rimmed it’s that people who give rim jobs LOVE giving rim jobs, as it goes with kinky sexual fetishes, which always makes for a very exciting experience. There’s no such thing as lackluster booty eating! When you rim you’re making a commitment. As one of my friends put it, “As long as I have a face, you have a seat.” He can be reached at 555-ANUS.