21 Women Tell Straight Guys What It Takes To Be “Good” In Bed


Found on AskReddit


1. Listening

Listening. When we say “right there” do NOT change what you are doing!! That usually means we’re close to an orgasm and if you change something it all goes away. And please make noise! Sex should be fun, noisy, sweaty and a good time!



If I’m saying YESOHMYGOD DONT STOP, try to keep it up, don’t stop, pull out and decide that is the time to switch positions. So frustrating.


3. Be loud

If you enjoy it, let the girl know. It’s really awkward if the girl’s enjoying herself and moaning and the guy is just ninja-quiet. I know some guys are conditioned to be all quiet, but during sex, it comes off as weirdly contemplative and like you’re uncertain.


4. Cut your damn fingernails

Make noise. Use your hands, grab, caress, pull hair. Go down on me. Communicate, be forthright with your desires and confident in your body. More specifically: Cut your fingernails before putting them inside of me, no one wants vaginal lacerations.


5. Damn

Teasing. Kiss my neck, nibble my thighs, rub my feet, etc… a guy does that long enough and I’ll eventually explode with lust, pin him down and ride him till we both collapse in a big sticky mess oh god I wish my boyfriend wasn’t 1000 miles away


6. Just don’t ask her to call you “daddy”

Here’s my 2 cents:

– Licking/sucking nipples is constantly overlooked but real valuable

– Fingering is really, really hot. Don’t try and make it feel like a dick either (I think that’s a big misconception with hand play) I get really turned on by the idea of fingers inside me curling to the front wall of the vagina and pressing the G spot, don’t quit twisting it around because I know what a cock feels like and that is not it

– Wet, tongue heavy making out

– Appreciative noises/dirty talk: always good but if you use the word “daddy” you’re going to have to leave my house


7. There’s no such thing as being “good in bed”

The best sex is “Jekyll and Hyde” sex, which is when one second you’re a sex monster and then the next, you brushing the hair out of my face saying “you’re so beautiful” and then back to fucking me sideways… The flip-flop between aggression and tenderness puts your body and mind on such a ride. Also, not concentrating too much on ‘being good in bed’, like you have to prove something to me. Move with the energy of the moment, and I’ll move with you.


8. Don’t think about it too much

I think the best way for two people to have fun in bed is to be open and honest about their wants and needs. I understand that may feel uncomfortable for some, but being honest about what you like and don’t like will avoid a lot of awkwardness. Use your hands! Caress our skin, chicks will react to where they enjoy being touched. Prime us! Do NOT just ram it in and jackhammer until you’re done, that is boring, somewhat painful, and will give us very little incentive to let you try it a second time. Most of all just relax and have fun, if you’re chests make a fart sound laugh because that shit is always funny.


9. Kiss like you forgot how to breathe

I haven’t seen anyone else say this, but I feel making out is extremely underrated. Most of the guys I have been with kind of rush through the making out and then stick their hands down my pants, rushed foreplay and then straight to sex. There is nothing hotter than having an intense make out session where you’re not really doing anything else than grabbing and grinding at each other’s bodies and forgetting how to breathe because you’re kissing so intensely.


10. Foreplan does not start at the clit

Foreplay does not start at the clit. It is the penultimate step. Foreplay starts with caresses and kisses and biting etc etc on all the other parts of the body – and don’t be afraid of exploring, a calf or the inside of an elbow can be just as sensitive as a nipple. After she’s all hot and bothered, then go to the clit to ramp it up and ideally make her come before penetration.


11. Be a tiger!

One of best sex sessions ever was with this guy, who seemed to attack my body like a tiger. He was everywhere, touching, biting, licking, sucking. I don’t know how he did it but there was so much sensation at so many different spots at the same time. I begged him to fuck me, but he denied my request and just kept going with the tease. Once he finally put it in, mother of god that was good. Further: looking me in the eye when you deeply penetrate me. Take the lead. MAKE NOISE.


12. Marvel at her body and she will worship your cock

Willingness to learn. Someone who wants to completely please me and acts like I’m some sort of goddess. A little bit of rough play, spanking, biting and lustful grabbing of boobs and bum. But doesn’t take it all too seriously. If I’m made to feel like a sex goddess, then I will make you feel like a sex God. Marvel at my body and I will worship your cock.


13. We’re not a “pocket pussy”

All of the above, though I want more than a little rough play. Don’t get caught up in your head, enjoy the sex. Don’t treat me like a pocket pussy, I’m a human being and can please you a lot better than an inanimate object. Let me know what pleases you, let me know you’re enjoying it and I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. If you finish early, yeah I’m going to be disappointed, but if you make an effort to get me off after I will likely not care. Foreplay is important unless you’re one of the two guys that got me super wet just by making out it. But seriously, treat us like a goddess and we will worship your cock.


14. Let her control the rhythm if she’s on top

When I’m on top, let me control the pacing and the rhythm; I’m doing what I’m doing for a specific reason: I’m trying to get off and found the perfect angle and pace to do so. I know it’s hard and I always appreciate the enthusiasm but just relax and give up that little bit of control. You can have it when we switch positions.


15. Know how to go down on a girl. Seriously.

I dated so many guys who were so bad at eating a girl out but thought they were good. It’s not sexy when it feels like a cocker spaniel is lapping at your vagina. I really hated oral sex and didn’t think I could enjoy it until I met my girlfriend.


16. There’s a difference between damn I love you sex and dirrrty sex

There’s a difference between rough dirty sex and damn I love you sex. We want both. At seperate times. At the same time. Who the fuck knows but there’s a difference.


17. Watch lesbian porn — REAL lesbian porn

Study lesbian porn. The down and dirty, real lesbians (not the bi for money obviously fake ones) and watch how they eat each other out, pay attention to how they finger each other, and definitely remember where they touch and kiss each other besides the mouth/bobs/vagina triangle. We know how to please ourselves so learning from how lesbians have sex is your ticket to orgasm city. I’ve been with so many guys who think flicking their tongue back and forth a few times is a good technique or rapidly shoving their fingers in and out will get me off in seconds. Vaginas can be complex if you don’t take the time to get to know them. But once you know them, it’s a cake walk.


18. Tell her some of your kinks

Don’t be afraid to tell me some of your kinks.


19. Eye contact and hanging out with each other naked

eye contact. not taking everything so seriously. not beating himself up if something doesn’t go exactly right. some spanking, some dirty talk. sometimes hard and fast, sometimes slow and sensual. mixing it up, a willingness to try new stuff and hang out with each other naked for a while afterwards.


20. Use her toys!

I have nice expensive toys for a reason, USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.


21. THIS

Excellent cunnilingus skills = good in bed.

Practice makes perfect lol. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Author of How To Be A Pop Star.

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