1. You’ll tell yourself you’re okay but you’re not.
2. You will feel emotionally numb and will do something — anything — that will give you feeling.
3. The person who was once the center of your life suddenly becomes a total stranger, and it’s the hardest pill to swallow.
4. One day you discover they’ve deleted you on Facebook but you still have all the same friends and relatives in common. Nothing could be more final or make you more sad.
5. You will always think about them, especially if you have been together for a long time. Foods and smells remind you of them. TV shows you watch remind you of them because they are shows you used to watch together.
6. You’ll miss watching them do completely regular, non sexual things like drying off after a shower or taking a picture of them while they’re still sleeping and texting it to them later in the day.
7. You’ll miss the silly way you used to cook in your underwear. You’ll miss hearing them say, “I love you.”
8. You’ve replayed every single mistake you made in the relationship in your mind. You really were an asshole.
9. Deep down you’ll wish you two could start over with a clean slate. Four months later, eight months later, one year later you still love them but know they’ve moved on.
10. Your friends tell you the best thing during a break up, even if you’re the one who got ditched, is to let them go. “If you really love someone you should learn to let them go,” you’ll be told. It will seem like cruel and unusual punishment.
11. You will snoop on their Instagram and be sad by how happy they look without you — happy for them, sad for you.
12. You’ll sleep with the stuffed animal they gave you when you first started dating as you wonder if you will ever be able to love like that again, if anyone will love you the way they did.
13. A friend will tell you they have been single for four years since their last relationship, and the thought of being single for four years terrifies you.
14. People will ask you what happened with so-in-so and your stomach will drop.
15. You will wake up from “we got back together” dreams that felt so real.
16. You’ll go on dates with other people, always comparing them to your ex. This one’s too nice, this one talks funny, that one isn’t smart or creative enough, she’s kind of weird, he’s too much of a bro. No one else will compare.
17. You will never fuck up another relationship like this ever again.
18. You will learn to be okay.