Thought Catalog

20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You

  • 0
Consensus? Basically that anyone who orders a Jager bomb is an idiot. But apparently, so are people who order Blowjobs! Read more on this Reddit thread
 image - Shutterstock

image – Shutterstock

 

1. You’re just ordering this because you heard it in a rap song, aren’t you?

I find that people who aren’t “real” drinkers order drinks that they’ve heard in rap songs. When Drake said something about Moscato, which is a sweet white wine, I suddenly had an influx of tough looking dudes ordering Moscato. I give them the drink and they look at me like, WTF, I’m like that’s what your dumb ass ordered!

 

2. Dayum, girl.

Long Island Iced Tea: I want to get fucked up.

 

3. You’re probably going to jail if you drink a lot of this.

As someone that formerly worked at the DA’s office, it seems like all crimes start with Bud Light. Not miller, not coors, not tequila, not whisky, not malt liquor…..Bud Light…from vehicular manslaughter to 1st degree murder…..Bud Light

 

4. Yo, it’s time for you to go home maybe?

I help out at a quiet English country pub, when someone orders a shot of anything it means they needed a taxi 2 drinks ago.

CLICK TO THE NEXT PAGE…

Cataloged in

More from Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog Videos


    • http://roamingurban.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/what-your-drink-says-about-you/ What Your Drink Says About You | Roaming Urban

      […] I stumbled upon a post on a blog called Thought Catalog titled, “20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You.” It is alarmingly accurate and hilarious. Here are a few excerpts I found particularly funny. Read the full post here. […]

    • http://mochaliciousmess.wordpress.com mochaliciousmess

      Reblogged this on mochaliciousmess's Blog and commented:
      I do wonder what the bartenders think of me when I order a shot of Patron XO or Baileys.

    • http://jessicaquynh.wordpress.com jessicaquynh

      Reblogged this on Jessica Jabbers and commented:
      Just something to think about when going for drinks.

    • mwauramichelle

      Reblogged this on Words To Say.

    • http://cosmicrosa.wordpress.com cosmicrosa

      Reblogged this on Cosmic Rosa and commented:
      Hilarious!

    • http://kisspeoria.com/all-crimes-start-with-bud-light/ 98.5 KISS FM

      […] Find out what your drink choice says about you HERE: […]

    • http://www.trippapparel.com/2014/24776 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You | Tripp Apparel

      […] By Madison Moore | Via ThoughtCatalog […]

    • http://rosaphotographyblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/httpthoughtcatalog-commadison-moore20140320-bartenders-reveal-what-your-drink-says-about-you/ 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You | Stuff to Read
    • http://sportsmockery.com/bartender-jay-cutler-manners-orders-fruity-shots-doesnt-tip-26141/ Bartender: Jay Cutler Has No Manners. "Orders Fruity Shots and Doesn't Tip"

      […] Mockery –  Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler has been referenced in a random article from a bartender that says he was a prick at his establishment. The quote from his article […]

    • http://keitochansays.com/2014/04/15/tokyo-tea-cocktail-drink-recipe/ Tokyo Tea Cocktail Drink Recipe « Keitochan Says:

      […] 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You (thoughtcatalog.com) […]

    • http://mychannel957.com/the-bartender-is-judging-you/ The Bartender IS Judging You

      […] (Thought Catalog) […]

    • http://mix941fm.cbslocal.com/2014/06/12/heres-what-bartenders-think-of-you-based-on-your-drink/ Here’s What Bartenders Think Of You Based On Your Drink « Mix 94.1 Las Vegas

      […] (Source: Thought Catalog) […]

    • http://womc.cbslocal.com/2014/06/17/what-your-drink-says-about-you/ What Your Drink Says About You « 104.3 WOMC

      […] Thought Catalog has a list of drinks and what bartenders think about a person drinking the specific brew. talked about how they profile people based on what they order. So here’s what your drink says about you, straight from the mouths of the professionals. […]

    • http://nextrestaurants.com/mobile-marketing/cocktail-culture-mobile-marketing-for-restaurants/ Cocktail Culture and Mobile Marketing for Restaurants - NextRestaurants

      […] and chefs relish in the challenge of exploring new flavors together in a new way. That is the same approach that should be utilized when you look to combine a current marketing […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kathryn-morrill/2014/07/the-15-worst-things-you-could-say-to-your-bartender/ The 15 Worst Things You Could Say To Your Bartender | Thought Catalog

      […] Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: I’m One Of Those Moms That’s Breastfeeding Her Kid Through Puberty […]

    • http://alistmarketing.wordpress.com alistmarketing

      Reblogged this on TimTheBarGuy and commented:
      Some laughs and many opinions on “what your drink says about you.” I agree and disagree with a mixed bag of these. Thoughts?

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ella-ceron/2014/08/15-things-you-should-stop-saying-to-girls-with-tattoos/ 15 Things You Should Stop Saying To Girls With Tattoos | Thought Catalog

      […] Moreno Read this: I Ruined A Relationship This Morning With One Email, And This Is The Conversation Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: 18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/taylor-george/2014/07/to-my-ex-best-friend-on-her-wedding-day/ To My Ex-Best Friend On Her Wedding Day | Thought Catalog

      […] Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: 24 Signs You’re Already Hopelessly In Love With Her Read this: I Ruined A Relationship This Morning With One Email, And This Is The Conversation Read this: 18 Girls Describe The Worst Sex They Ever Had (NSFW) Read this: This Incredible Test Shows How Your Makeup Changes People’s Perception Of You Cataloged in […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2014/08/21-uncommon-romantic-gestures-that-would-make-any-girl-melt/ 21 Uncommon Romantic Gestures That Would Make Any Girl Melt | Thought Catalog

      […] this: I Waited Until My Wedding Night To Lose My Virginity And I Wish I Hadn’t Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: I Inherited My Brother’s Laptop After His Suicide, What I Found On It Made Me Glad He […]

    • Karsing

      Reblogged this on searching for the right. and commented:
      muahahaha

    • http://myexclips.chaturbate.com/?track=exclips free girl cams

      free girl cams

      20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You | Thought Catalog

    • http://www.sportshoopla.com/forums/sports-forum-general-discussion/156870-keepin-clean-completely-random-63.html#post5467110 Keepin' It Clean and Completely Random - Page 63 - SportsHoopla.com Sports Forums

      […] used to tend bar and found this to be hilarious and pretty accurate. 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You | Thought Catalog 0 __________________ Not the Victory but the Action; Not the Goal but the Game; […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/ella-ceron/2014/09/17-things-you-should-know-before-you-date-an-athletic-girl/ 17 Things You Should Know Before You Date An Athletic Girl | Thought Catalog

      […] this: 10 Struggles Every Female Sports Fan Knows Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: I Inherited My Brother’s Laptop After His Suicide, What I Found On It Made Me Glad He […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/terran-tout/2014/10/6-facebook-statuses-that-need-to-stop-right-now/ 6 Facebook Statuses That Need To Stop Right Now | Thought Catalog

      […] From Tinder, This Is What I Woke Up To Read this: 16 Things Unemotional Women Will Understand Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: 10 Graphs That Sum Up The Mid 20-Something Experience Read this: 20 Things You Should […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/kelsey-hau/2014/10/why-i-hope-my-ex-was-a-once-in-a-lifetime-kind-of-love/ Why I Hope My Ex Was A Once-In-A-Lifetime Kind Of Love | Thought Catalog

      […] Read this: 20 Bartenders Reveal What Your Drink Says About You Read this: What Guys Really Think Of Your High-Waisted Shorts Read this: I Inherited My Brother’s Laptop After His Suicide, What I Found On It Made Me Glad He Did It Read this: 20 Things You Should Know About Dating An Independent Girl Read this: 21 Terrible 90s Songs That Everyone Secretly Loves Read this: 26 Things You Didn’t Know About Breasts Read this: 32 Signs You’re Dating A Keeper Read this: 22 Extremely Satisfying Things That Can Only Happen After Age 22 featured image – Jason Devaun Cataloged in […]

    blog comments powered by Disqus