21. My cousin is a junkie
“My cousin D has some issues. She is addicted to Oxy, and currently has two children who could be taken away any day now. She steals constantly. My aunts live near her, and they had to take her key away because she kept pawning stuff from their house (presumably to buy drugs). She even sold one of their cars once. D was always taken care of by my great grandparents, and, after they both passed, she was left everything (This was before the drugs). She pretty much sold all of their belongings and kept the house. My grandfather, as far as I know, was unable to retrieve any of his mother’s belongings. D also molested someone in our family by asking them to ‘Do what her boyfriend does.’ D will be in jail soon.”
22. My grandfather was a Grand Dragon in the Klan
“When going through my great (great?) grandfather’s things after his death, they found his huge, daunting, red KKK hood in the back of his closet, turns out he was the Grand Dragon of my home town.”
23. My uncle killed two Scientologists
“My granddad was an auditor for the Church of Scientology, and decided to quit after one of his friends was brutally assaulted. He was hunted down and threatened repeatedly, and they threatened to kill off his family, and a bunch of other fucked up shit. My uncle killed two of the men chasing him and hunting him down. Buried them in cemeteries in another person’s grave. He told me one day when I found some threat letters from the Cult.”
24. My stepmom was a local porn star and high-end prostitute
“I grew up in a house that valued technology quite a bit. My dad always liked getting the newest/fastest computer and gadgets etc. As a result, I started using the Internet at a pretty early age, roughly 5-6 in 1994 or so. Despite my father’s taste for technology, we lived more-or-less in squalor due to my parents getting divorced. Fast forward a few years, and my Dad and Stepmom have moved out of the crappy two-bedroom apartment with 3 kids, and somehow afforded a much larger house. I loved the Internet, and was a sexually curious individual from a pretty early age so I remember searching for stuff (on AltaVista/Lycos of course) like ‘boobs’ and ‘vagina.’ I can’t recall exactly what I’d searched for, but I ultimately came across a photo of a white woman with very familiar hair having sex with a black man. I kept scrolling down and ultimately to my horror realized that the woman was actually my stepmom. She had become a local porn star and high-end prostitute where I lived at the time. They were destitute despite my father being a lawyer and had to do something, so she turned to sex work and he helped to facilitate it. She would regularly go on ‘business trips’ and I knew before any of my other siblings did about what this really meant. Ultimately, this came to a head by way of a custody trial between my mother and father. My mother is very religious and knew about the whole thing, and my father naturally lost—despite the fact that I wanted to live with him because my mother was a tad unstable at the time. My stepbrother doesn’t know, but pretty much the rest of my family knows but NEVER talks about it.”
25. My mother is a notorious whore
“My mother is a notorious whore. I could go into details about that but to be on point about this particular case. It was simple, she had sex with him but he was married and had his own kid. In order to be taken care of my mother told the man I thought was my biological father that she was pregnant. He married her. So my biological father is a falsely convicted felon and I have a sister. We talk frequently and have been trying to find a way to overturn his ruling ever since….We did do a blood test and have confirmed without a shadow of doubt that he is my father and she is my half sibling. I have confronted my mother about it but she denies it even with presenting her with the test results. The man who raised me, who is apparently my uncle and not my father, doesn’t know as that would absolutely devastate him. We decided to keep this a family secret between me, my sister, my real father and my lying whore of a mother.”