10 Things To Remember When You're Single And Making The Most Of It

10 Things To Remember When You’re Single And Making The Most Of It

Sometimes people feel that being single is a bad thing; it disrupts their reality, it messes up with their dreams. Sometimes people who find themselves without a partner start becoming overly anxious, even panicky about their status. “Will I ever find the love of my life?” and “Am I doomed to being single?” can be daunting questions that paralyze those asking them. It doesn’t have to be this way! Being single can actually be an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and use this time to your advantage. Here’s how!

1. Take it easy and don’t panic!

Being single is just a stage. The fact that you are single now doesn’t mean that you are going to be single forever. So take it easy, relax, and make the most of it. Allow yourself to be OK without being with someone else. Meet new people, reconnect with old friends. Invest in quality and enjoy connecting with others.

2. Treat being single as an opportunity to get to know yourself better

Really! Being by yourself is a great opportunity to gain some self-knowledge. Start by asking the most important question; do you like yourself? Do you enjoy spending time with yourself? If the answer to the above is “no,” then you need to reconsider. If you don’t like yourself and you don’t enjoy your own company, how do you expect others to do so?

3. Cater to your needs

What makes you smile? What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? Invest in these things and make sure you do stuff you like on a daily basis, or a few times a week, at least. Listen to your gut; what are your needs? What things are important to you? Maybe they aren’t as significant to someone else, but that’s not the point. Now it’s your time to be “you,” to cater to your needs and get a sense of self-satisfaction. This way you won’t feel that you need someone else to make you happy or “whole.”

4. Invest in learning something new

While alone, don’t duck under your bed covers waiting for this stage to be over. Dare to do something different, something meaningful. Go out there and learn something new. Whether it’s bungee jumping or playing the piano, find something that you like, something you are passionate about it and pursue it. Learning something new will also allow you to learn something novel about yourself; it will allow to reconnect with yourself in a different, positive way.

5. Invest in meeting new people

Being single is a great opportunity to expand your social circle. So stop always going out with the same old friends, telling them about your failed relationship and your singlehood. Stop commiserating with your friends about problems and difficulties. Expand! Meet new people preferably individuals you share the same interests and start hanging out with them too.

6. Reconnect with your body

No matter what’s your shape or size or physical condition, make a point to reconnect with your body. Start loving your body all over again! Accept it and if there are things that need to be improved, work on them. Start walking, or hit the gym or the swimming pool. Invest in moving and choosing healthy eating options. Refuel your body with positive energy through movement and nourishment.

7. Listen to your inner dialogue

What are you saying to yourself when engaged in your inner dialogue? Do you talk to yourself the way you would to a small child or to your best friend? Or do you tend to trash-talk to yourself, insulting and putting down your precious self? Reconsider! Learn to talk to yourself gently, in an honest, realistic, and encouraging manner.

8. Count your blessings

Even if you feel that life is tough, that you are going through a rough patch, that it’s not fair to be dumped or single or whatever, I ‘d urge you to leave these thoughts aside for a while. Instead, I ‘d ask you to focus on your blessings, on what’s going well in your life right now. What are the things, big or small, you are grateful for? Shift your perspective and count your blessings. Feeling grateful is just a simple yet powerful way to feel happy again.

9. Set a goal

Instead of focusing on being single and thinking all the time about finding a partner, give yourself a break and allow your mind to focus on something different. Tell yourself “I will find the right partner in due time” and then focus your mental energy on setting a new goal. It doesn’t matter if it’s small; in fact, it should be smaller rather than bigger, in the sense that it has to be attainable. Make a course of action, commit to it, and follow through. Savor the success of meeting your goal! This is a powerful reminder that you are not defined by your status as single or in a relationship, but by your willingness to invest in life.

10. Step out of your comfort zone

Maybe being single is a good excuse to stay within what’s already comfortable and predictable. Maybe being single is a way to allow yourself to feel miserable for each and every aspect of your life. It doesn’t have to be this way! Accept that being single is just one facet of your life and that it’s up to you to create the type of life you desire. Allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone and make one different choice, do something that you wouldn’t do ordinarily, be more creative, inventive, flexible, and adventurous than usually. What is it that you are dreaming about? Go ahead and give it a try! Experience new things, follow new dreams and goals, expand your horizons and see yourself as a capable individual who’s committed to enjoying life!

About the author

Liza Varvogli

Psychologist & Psychotherapist. You have the power to change.