Are you looking for a good relationship? A relationship that brings more happiness and less heartache? Do you feel that it’s hard to come by good people who are honest and committed? Check out these 10 things you can do and change your dating landscape and the quality of your life.
1. Avoid partners with low self-esteem, self-worth, or self-respect
Seriously. Don’t get fooled by the puppy eyes, the neediness, the clingy behaviors. Above all, don’t mistake these for signs of love, because they aren’t. Find someone who has healthy self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect. If they know how to have these feelings for themselves, it will be a lot easier to have them for you, too.
2. Make sure you both want the same things in a relationship
If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship that will lead to marriage, it’s not a good idea to go for a one night stand thinking it will lead you where you want to end up. Go and have fun if you wish, but don’t just expect it to go somewhere.
3. Make sure that your person has the same values around relationships and family
When you are in love, you tend to just live in the moment and enjoy the passion. But when it comes to committed relationships, you certainly want to know where the other person stands on basic issues that will define your quality of life. Does your partner value relationships? Do they have close friends? What is the quality of the relationship with their parents/siblings/ relatives? They will give you clues as to what they value and where they come from emotionally.
4. They build a relationship where each partner is included in the other person’s life
That means there’s basic honesty and transparency. While both partners retain their individuality, their hobbies, interests, and friends, they make a serious effort to include the other person in just about every aspect of their lives. There are no dark secrets or “off-limits” activities with friends.
5. They don’t accept nasty behavior
Be it broken promises, verbal abuse, lying, disrespect, or any kind of bad behavior — that’s unacceptable. Women who know how to say “no” and “no more” set limits and walk away when they see signs like that.
6. They feel happy and relaxed when they are with their person
They don’t have to walk on eggshells or feel tense wondering what’s going to happen next or if their partner will explode or do something unpredictable. They know their person and they are happy and comfortable when they are together.
7. They keep the lines of communication open
They don’t wish their significant other could read their minds and guess what they need. They state their needs and wishes and advocate for themselves. They are open to listen to what their partner wants.
8. They don’t let their significant other play games
They know that their significant other will answer their text or call them right back; if not, that means they’re in the middle of something and they will do it later. But there’s no games such as “wait one hour before texting” or any arbitrary rules around responding and going out together.
9. They don’t compromise
They don’t go for anyone just to be with someone. They know that if they are single for a while, it means just that — they haven’t found the right partner yet. They know not to be scared and start dating anyone who’s available so they won’t be alone.
10. They look for signs that their partner is into them
They will actively look for signs that the person they are with is serious; their partner makes spending time a priority, doesn’t disappear, doesn’t have all kinds of secrets and hidden aspects in their life. They know they’re interested, and they see the behaviors that show their interest — they don’t just take their partner’s words of “love” at face value.
Your person doesn’t care when…
You think they care. They say they care, but this little voice inside you tells you otherwise. Should you listen to your voice or theirs? Start with observations. What is it that they’re doing that makes you frown? What is it that they’re doing that doesn’t match their words?