5. Deep Depression

No. Not even slightly. I spent eight months afterwards wracked with a level of terror that I had never felt before that she would leave me for him. Probably once a week I would mumble through sobbing that I couldn’t deal with her leaving me, and she promised that she wouldn’t ever leave me, especially not for the friend she cheated on me with. After that eight months, she did exactly that, and the terror was replaced with depression (on top of the fairly major depression I already had), and eventually I tried to kill myself.

Three years later, I’m still exactly where I was then. I spend the majority of my days wondering if my life is even worth continuing. I can’t work, I can’t concentrate on anything, I can barely even get up in the morning. I spend my days just trying to become tired enough that I can go to sleep again, as that is my only escape from it. Even if I found someone else who wanted to be with me, I’d probably just spend the entirety of the relationship being utterly terrified that the same thing would happen again, because I know if it did it would kill me.

I wish I was dead.

6. The Horrors Of Playing Detective

Because I was young, gullible and didn’t realize a relationship is nothing without trust. That the nights out with the girls for her, would turn into nights of sleepless hell for me thinking of all the ways she could be doing it again. Then when she came home from innocent nights out, playing detective to come to the only obvious conclusion that she slept with someone. It’s no way to live, even if she had changed.

7. Headed In The Right Direction

We are still together, things are… Okay… Not as good as they once were, but it seems that things are headed in that direction. So it remains to be seen.

8. I Forgave Her

I forgave her and didn’t break up with her. Then she dumped me on the train after a party. I still had to drive her home from the train station near her house. I should have let her walk the five miles home from my house the night she told me.