I always thought that we were going to make it.
For a long time, you were the constant that I could depend on when the world felt heavy. You were my ride or die. You were the one I turned to to share my good news or when I hit rock bottom. You were the unshakable pillar in my life and we were inseparable.
I assumed wrongly that we were the exception to heartbreak. I made a terrible mistake in taking us for granted that we had our whole lives in front of us. I wished I had fought harder for us and made you stay. Most of all, I resented you for walking away so effortlessly as if the time we had together meant nothing to you.
You see, I am perfectly fine without you. I could do without you. But the thing is, I don’t want to. There was no one else that I would rather be with. I want to spend every waking moment to the fullest with you by my side. I want to materialize every single one of my dreams and you be the witness to every key milestone I reached. I want to see you fulfill every last of your goal and hug you tightly, congratulating how you finally made it. I want to embark on countless adventures with you and be blown away by the unparalleled beauty of every part of Earth that we have yet to travel to. I want to just talk with you about everything and nothing in particular but have your presence comfort me. I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me that everything is going to be okay.
I never meant to fall in love with you. You weren’t my type at all. You were too loud and attentive-seeking and you consumed so much of my time and energy. Being with you was outside of my comfort zone, it was scary yet exhilarating. You dived straight into love and grabbed me with you. Before I could process, I found myself falling into the unknown and trusting you. I couldn’t fathom what happen but I knew that it was too late. I had fallen for you.
It was easy to fall for you because you pursued me so boldly and confidently that I believed you wholeheartedly. It was easy to fall for you because of your strong personality that allowed you to go after what you wanted to live a life of no regret and you inspired me to do the same. It was easy to fall for you because the more time we spent together, the more alike I realized, we actually were. We both wanted the same thing and saw each other as our future.
I kept looking at my cell phone and hoping your familiar name would lit up. I looked at our old pictures and reminisced about our memories together. I was unable to move on as I am still hoping that you would come back and we can pick up from where we had left.
I know that I don’t need you in my life as my life is complete even without you. I can still go about living my best life because that is the type of person I am. I won’t let anyone stop me from striving for my happiness. But how I wish you were here with me right now. How I wished we could be together once more.