If you know me or you’ve ever read any of my words, you know that having healthy relationships is so important to me. Spending my life engaging in intimate relationships is the most important thing, it’s my number one priority. Unfortunately, this leaves me with an empty and unsettling feeling when loss or rejection occurs.
I have this aunt who is only five years older than me and ever since I can remember I’ve always wanted to be close to her. I’ve always wanted to do my makeup just like she does her makeup, have her come to all my birthday parties, plan trips with her, etc. However as I’ve grown up and continuously expressed this, it never seems to be the right timing. She either was / is busy with her boyfriend, putting all her energy into work, or being with friends, and it always left me feeling so devastated because I just wanted to have this close bond with her. This is just one simple example I can think of when I think of how exhausting it is to try and force someone to like you or put in effort to be in your life.
The truth is, you shouldn’t have to fight to have someone ask you how your day is going. You shouldn’t have to beg for people to engage in conversation with you, to be there. You shouldn’t have to fight for anyone to show their love for you.
I am slowly learning that not everyone is meant to be in your life.
Some people are meant to only make appearances, some are only supposed to act as a teacher, some are supposed to be your person, some are only supposed to teach you how to set boundaries to avoid people like them, and some really bring to light what your truest needs and desires actually are.
I am slowly learning that the people who truly care about what you’re learning about, what’s been going on in your life, how you’re doing, etc, will make their efforts known.
The people who are meant to show up, will show up. You have to trust that.
Just because someone doesn’t reach out, or they act like they don’t care, or maybe has their own personal problem, doesn’t mean it has anything to do with you.
The people who are supposed to be in your life, the people who are supposed to accompany you on your journey, the people who are meant to enrich your experience – will. And you have to let the rest be, you just have to.